The sun hit differently that morning.
Too bright. Shining through the broken blinds of their apartment reminding Meechie that she had sat in there the entire night after Noel came and picked up Zha.
Meechie was sitting on the edge of the couch, eyes bloodshot, still wearing the same black tank and gray sweat shorts she had on when it all went down. Her hands were trembling, nails broken, dried blood caked between her knuckles. The Glock sat on the coffee table in front of her, safety off, like it was still waiting for her to finish what she started.
The living room smelled like gun powder and cigarette smoke. The groceries were still all over the floor; bread crushed. The gallon that hit the ground last night was still leaking into the tile.
She hadn’t slept. Couldn’t.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Keno’s back disappearing through that door, Iesha screaming, glass shattering, that last flash of red taillights fading into the street.
“Fuck...” she whispered, voice dry and cracked. “What did I do, man?”
She ran her fingers through her hair; her lace front half lifted from sweat. Her head was pounding. She could still feel the heat from that gun in her palm.
8:03 a.m.
The knock on the door hit her heart like another gunshot.
Boom-boom-boom!
“Meechie! Open the fuckin’ door, girl!”
It was Noel. Her best friend since middle school, light-skinned, what they call a red bone, short, thick, and beautiful with natural red hair. Noel was loud enough to wake the dead and the one who always pulled up no matter what. Dragging herself up grom the sofa, eyes poofy from crying all night.
Meechie opened the door slowly.
Noel stepped inside, holding Zahria's backpack, with Zahria standing beside her, scanning the place.
"Zah go to your room and play Babygirl TT Ne will come play with you in a minute okay"
"Okay, Auntie." Zahria said, walking to the back, shutting her door behind her as Meechie went and sat back down on the couch.
“Damn, bitch.” she said leaning up against the front door with her legs crossed at the ankles and arms folded across her chest like she was evaluating the scene, whispering now. “You really did that shit; bitch you really shot at they dumb asses.”
Meechie dropped her head and sighed as tears started falling.
Meechie’s voice cracked. “I don’t even know, Ne. I think I almost killed him.”
Noel’s eyes widened. “Almost? Bitch, what you mean almost?”
“I don’t know if I actually hit him, I ain’t mean to shoot directly at him, Ne. I swear. I just wanted to scare him and for him to stop the bullshit.”
Noel looked at her dead in the eyes. “Meech, you almost killed that man! You lucky your aim trash as hell.”
“I shot at him… twice.” Meechie whispered, voice low like the walls were listening. “He had that bitch in my bed, Ne. In my fuckin’ bed. I snapped. I don’t even remember pulling the trigger.”
"Did the police show up you know your nosey ass neighbor probably heard it all" Noel said rolling her eyes.
"You know how BPD is they don't give a flying fuck until someone actually stretched on the pavement"
Noel walked over to her and dropped her purse on the couch sitting next to her, shaking her head as she grabbed the gun off the table like it was a dirty dish rag. “You can’t keep this here.” she said.
“If the police pull up, you gone for real you don't even have a gun license.”
Meechie’s eyes widened. “You think they’ll come?”
"Ain't no telling but we not just waiting around to see either Meech"
"You lucky as hell you ain’t hit him, girl. You’d be sitting in county right now talking to my ass through glass.”
Meechie looked at her hands, trembling. “I wanted to, Ne. I wanted to hurt him bad.”
“You ain’t built for no murder charge.” Noel said softly, putting her hand on Meechie’s knee. “You built to beat a bitch's ass, but not to rot behind bars over a nothing ass nigga. You got Zha and KJ to think about.” Noel said.
Meechie didn’t respond. She just stared out the window, watching the sunlight hit the broken glass near the door. Every sparkle felt like guilt staring back.
Noel stood up, pulling out her phone. “I’m calling my cousin Dre. He works at the shop with your cousin Tone. He can get rid of that gun, no questions asked.”
The knock at the door this time was a lot louder.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! hard enough to shake the frame. They both looked at each other and froze their eyes wide. Meechie eased up off the sofa and tip toed to the door she looked through the peephole. Rolling her eyes at her big sister Sheena on the other side, standing with her hand on her hip.
"Here we go, you told her?" Meechie said, knowing her sister had heard about last night events. Meechie opened the door and walked away, not acknowledging her sister or her 5-year-old son Kendrick Jr.
"What in the fuck were you thinking Meech? Do you know your ass could've killed those fucking people THINK for once Tameka what the fuck!" Sheena wasted no time getting in her sisters' ass.
"Hi mommy" KJ said running to the back looking for his big sister.
"Hi, my son shine" Meechie said smiling on the inside at her baby boy and how much joy children had in the hardest times.
"Shut the fuck up Shy you act like you've never did no stupid shit before DAMN!"
Noel just sat at the dining room table watching them go back and forth while texting Dre to meet up later.
"The stupid shit I've done wouldn't cost me my fucking life TAMEKA!"
"And so that makes it better." Meech said, rolling her eyes.
"No but you have TWO FUCKING BABIES to worry about if anything happens to you" Sheena screamed holding up two fingers in Meechie's face.
Slap
Meechie slapped her hand out her face "Get the fuck out of my face Shy what the fuck would you do if you caught Nate fucking a bitch in your bed huh Ms. goodie too shoes WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO?" Meechie stood up off the couch getting in Sheena's face standing face to face. Sheena stepped closer. Their noses damn near touching.
"I wouldn't be a dumb BITCH and shoot at them." Meechie pushed Sheena and she almost fell over the coffee table. Noel jumped up, jumping in the middle of them.
"Ya'll need to chill the fuck out, it's babies in here and y'all are fucking sisters."
"Fuck her" Meechie said. "She always judging me thinking she's better than me." Meechie said sitting back down on the couch.
"Bitch I'm speaking facts do you not give a fuck about Zahria and Kendrick, what are they going to do if your ass keeps doing dumb shit and fuck around and end up in prison?"
"I care about my kids Shy I just snapped I don't know man." Meechie said with tears streaming down her face she put her face into her hands and broke down.
"I love you sis, but you have to leave him, this is getting out of hand, and I am scared for you, and them babies." Sheena said, sitting down next to her sister and hugging her tightly.
Zharia and KJ's laughter echoed faintly from the back room. The sound was too innocent for the mood in that apartment. “Shy... you think I’m a bad mama?” Meechie asked out of nowhere.
“What? Hell no. Why you say that?”
“I yelled at Zha last night, right before I shot at them while she was in her room playing.” Meechie said softly. “Scared her so bad Shy. She ain’t deserve that.”
“You are human, Meech. You snapped. But you got to get your head right before they take your babies from you.”
That last line hit hard. Meechie’s whole body was tense. “Ain't nobody taking my babies.”
“Then clean this shit up. Get rid of that gun. And act like this never happened.” Sheena said with a concerned expression on her face.
Meechie nodded, but her eyes were somewhere else, far away, lost in a memory. Keno’s face wouldn’t leave her mind. He was the same boy she fell in love with at fifteen. The same one who held her hand when her mama kicked her out. The same one she thought would never hurt her like Devon hurt her and her mama. And yet here she was, shaking, heartbroken, alone, with her children in the next room, and a gun wrapped in a black bath towel on her dining room table.
Later that afternoon, the sun started dipping low, turning the sky blood orange over Baycliff. Meechie stood out on her porch in a tank top and shorts, smoking a cigarette with shaky hands. The neighborhood was alive, kids riding bikes, somebody grilling two houses down, music bumping from a passing car, but everything felt distant, muffled.
She stared at the street where Keno’s Cadillac had peeled off the night before. The cracked pavement still had pieces of glass from the shattered back window.
“God, if you still listening.” she whispered, “don’t let me end up like my mama.”
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Unknown number.
She hesitated, then answered. “Hello?”
A familiar voice came through the line, low, hoarse, angry.
“You almost killed me last night, Meech.” Keno said. “You lucky I ain't beat your fucking ass. But it ain’t over though.”
Her stomach dropped. “Keno—”
“Nah.” he cut her off. “You think you the only one who can play crazy? Watch how I move now bitch I was the only one who loved you hoe, and you go and do some stupid shit like shoot at me Bitch! this shit ain't done until I say it is Meechie.”
Click. He hung up.
Meechie stared at the phone, her heart thudding against her chest.
Maybe it ran in their blood. Maybe some women were just born fighting for peace they never get to keep. Either way, Meechie knew one thing for sure. This time, she wasn’t backing down or forgiving.