There have been moments in my life when I could not explain what I was feeling, times when I blamed myself for the losses I experienced or found myself asking, Why is this happening to me? Even while I was living through the trauma of those losses, music never left me. Music was still there, whether listening to it brought me comfort or made the pain feel even heavier. Some songs helped me release what I was holding inside, while others reopened emotions I was not ready to face. But through every season of grief, music remained. It became part of how I cried, how I remembered, how I worshiped, and eventually, how I began to heal.
When Words Are Not Enough
Grief does not always arrive in a neat, recognizable form. Sometimes grief looks like tears. Sometimes it looks like silence, irritability, exhaustion, isolation, or difficulty concentrating. Sometimes you believe you are doing better, and then a song, date, smell, place, or memory brings the emotions rushing back.
That does not mean you have failed at healing. It means your mind and body remember. Music has a unique way of reaching emotions that we may not be ready, or able to put into words. A melody can bring us back to a particular place of our life. Lyrics can describe something we have felt but never knew how to say. A familiar voice can make us feel understood in a moment when we feel completely alone.
That is one reason music can be such a meaningful coping tool. It gives our emotions somewhere to go.
Worship Became More Than Music
For me, worship music is not just something pleasant playing in the background. It is part of how I cope, pray, remember, release, and reconnect with God.Throughout my journey, Tye Tribbett music reminded me that even though the losses happened, God could still bring restoration, healing, and purpose from my pain. All Things New became more than a song to me, it became my motto! It reminded me that I would not always feel the way I felt in my darkest moments. I could grieve what I lost while still believing that something new could be created within me. Tye Tribbett is on repeat each night and every morning!
Why Music Can Feel Therapeutic
Music can affect several areas of the brain involved in emotion, memory, movement, attention, and physical sensation. Research suggests that music-based interventions may help reduce stress and anxiety and may support emotional well-being in some people. Music can also help us slow down, focus, express feelings, or shift the emotional atmosphere around us. Music can support healing, but it is not a replacement for therapy, medical care, community, prayer, or other forms of support when those things are needed. For me, it has been one piece of the healing process.
Music Can Release Emotions, But It Can Also Trigger Them!
Not every song will feel comforting. Some music carries memories. A song may remind you of someone you lost, a relationship that ended, a painful event, or a version of yourself you are still grieving. One song may help you release your emotions one day and feel overwhelming on another day. Ommgggggg, Jhené Aiko’s W.A.Y.S. still brings me to tears. That song came into my life around the time my mother passed away, and it helped me carry so much of the pain of learning how to live without her. The song asks, “Why aren’t you smiling?” But how could I smile when I was grieving? I was trying to understand how the world could continue moving when my mother was no longer in it. Through that song, I learned that healing did not require me to smile before I was ready or pretend that I was okay. In the song Jhene Aiko states "Life only gets harder, you gotta get stronger" W.A.Y.S. gave me permission to grieve while encouraging me to keep moving forward, one breath, one day, and one song at a time.
You do not have to force yourself to listen to a song simply because it once meant something to you. Protecting your emotional space is also part of healing. For a while, I had to put many of Jhené Aiko’s songs on the back burner because they carried emotions I was not always prepared to revisit. Her song For My Brother hit close to home. She sings, “If the angels call your name, tell them you’re staying.” Baby, every single time I heard that line, I would bawl. It touched the part of me that wanted more time with my mother, the part of me that was not ready to say goodbye. Eventually, I had to recognize that although the song was meaningful, listening to it was not always emotionally safe for me. Sometimes healing meant pressing play, and sometimes healing meant knowing when to turn the music off.
Healing Has a Soundtrack
When I look back over my life, I can connect certain songs to certain traumatic events. Some songs remind me of pain. Some remind me of survival. Some remind me of prayers that were answered differently than I expected. Others remind me that even during the periods when I felt broken, God was rebuilding parts of me I could not yet see. Music did not make me forget. It helped me remember without being completely consumed by the memory. It helped me feel without apologizing for my feelings. It helped me worship without pretending. It helped me understand that coping is not always about making the pain disappear. Sometimes coping means finding a safe way to carry the pain until it becomes a little lighter. And sometimes, healing begins with pressing play!
“Behold, I make all things new.” — Revelation 21:5
Reflection
What song has carried you through a difficult season?
What did that song allow you to feel, release, remember, or believe?
If your healing had a soundtrack, what songs would be on it?
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