I took myself out on a date. My husband was getting on my nerves. We had been arguing from sunup to sundown for weeks now. I could not take any more. I was done with this marriage. He could not even give me any kids. He had kids, though, but not me. Somehow, we tried and tried for years, and we could not get pregnant.
I wonder if he was really trying the more I think of it. He blamed me for everything. He blamed me for the one time I got pregnant. I was so stressed out trying to grow my business and take care of his kids that I lost it.
Yes… I lost it. It was my fault. It was his, too, because if we had been better financially, we could have had our own baby by now. I wonder if that's been our problem all these years. I wonder if that is why he cheated.
Just the stress of it all.
I could understand that more than him just picking a fight with me every day.
He only understood himself. Never me. Never did he try. We had been together 14 years and married 8. Three years ago, I caught him cheating, and that was the miscarriage. He had tapped out of this marriage around this time. I get it because I was hurt too. We got up to 5 months, and one day it just happened.
I was at work, stressed about completing a project, and boom. I started having a miscarriage. I try not to remember how I was sitting in my seat, and started to cramp and ran to the bathroom for the aftermath. That was hard on me. I went to the doctor right after, just for my husband to come and disappear on me for days. My vitals did not look good. My blood pressure was high.
That is when I realized something was off. He became so distant towards me, and then that is when his words started becoming harsher, and he stopped treating me like I was his wife. He stopped caring.
We went to church to ask my pastor for help, but that was when I realized there was no hope for us. He started missing appointments. He never ever tried to help fix us. Especially after we lost a baby, but I felt like I lost a baby, and my husband checked out on me.
I guess he never cared. That is what I say to myself because how could someone I loved just switch up on me? During that time, I found him cheating on me with someone he worked with. He used to talk about her as if she were his work wife, and later she became his girlfriend. Well, mistress, I guess. I was over this marriage, but I was staying until his last son graduated. I practically raised that boy, and he stayed with us 70% of the time. I just wanted to make it to his graduation as a family because he means the world to me.
I went to the coffee shop counter and ordered my favorite coffee. An iced coffee with a shot of espresso, with four pumps of caramel syrup, whipped cream, and a splash of almond milk. The coffee got me going every time, and since I needed to go meet up with a therapist after this, it would give me the jolt I needed.
I had so much to tell her about. She has been helping me process this broken marriage and giving me the strength to move on. Moving on was the hard part.
I grabbed my coffee and turned around, and I heard, "Tiffany, I have not seen you in years."
I looked up, and it was my high school sweetheart. The man, at age 16, I thought I would marry. I thought we were soulmates and looked at him, looking like a million bucks. He stood across from me in a button-down white shirt and jeans. He had on a fancy watch. It's too fancy for me to know the name.
"Tiffany, how are you? I did not know you stayed out here. How ironic? We are both from Texas, living in Seattle."
I thought to myself, it is ironic, but I heard back in the day, move up here. I did know what part, but I had been up for 6 years and never seen him. I guess it was fate today.
"Yes, Brandon. It is ironic. I am about to sit down and enjoy my coffee. Would you like to join me?
He did just that. I was thinking to myself how he likes his coffee black and mine caramel, just like our skin. I was so happy to see him, and he was just as happy to see me. It felt like old times.
TO BE CONTINUED