It’s Not Religion. It’s Control. It’s Not Religion. It’s Fear Fear of Women.
Somali men often claim that they are upholding religion, but in truth, many are only upholding their own insecurities. What they present to the world as religious conviction is often nothing more than control disguised as faith. It is not rooted in knowledge, sincerity, or humility. It is rooted in fear fear of women and all that women represent. But this fear is never admitted. It is hidden. It lives beneath the surface, quietly guiding their behaviour, shaping their words, and distorting their understanding of Islam.
They speak about qawamah as if it gives them status and power. They wear the word like a crown. But most of them don’t even understand what it truly means. They repeat it again and again, as if the word alone justifies everything they do. But qawamah is not about superiority. It is about responsibility. It is about providing, protecting, and caring for women with sincerity, kindness, and justice. It is not about control. It is not about silence. It is not about turning women into shadows. And yet that is exactly what many men use it for a tool to silence women, to strip them of dignity, to assert dominance, and to feed their egos.
It’s not religion.
It’s fear.
It’s control.
It’s insecurity, dressed up as faith.
These men quote hadiths they barely understand. They use the Qur’an selectively, picking verses that suit their agenda while ignoring the broader message of justice, mercy, and spiritual equality. They twist sacred texts to soothe their own fragile masculinity. They speak not from a place of devotion, but from a deep desire to feel powerful in a world where they feel weak. They speak over women. They dismiss women. They erase women. And they do all of it in the name of religion.
But this behaviour is not pushing women closer to Allah. It is pushing them away. It is making Somali women feel like Islam does not belong to them. Like it is something they must borrow from men. Like they are strangers in their own faith. They are made to feel like outsiders as if their only purpose is to serve men, please men, obey men. As if God is only for men, and they are merely tolerated.
This is not Islam.
This is what men have turned it into.
Many Somali women grow up being taught that their value lies in how well they submit to men, how silent they can be, how obedient, how small. They are taught not to question, not to dream too big, not to ask too much. They are taught that their feelings are too loud, their presence too much, their voice too dangerous. They are taught to disappear, quietly. And when they hurt when they ache with confusion, sadness, or spiritual emptiness there is no space for that pain. No one holds it. No one hears it. They are simply told to be more patient. To pray more. To stop complaining.
And the men the very same men who neglect their wives and daughters, who fail to provide, who abuse their power, who know nothing about true responsibility they are the loudest voices in the room. They speak on behalf of Islam while breaking everything sacred about it. They do not guide. They do not build. They do not heal. They only harm. And in doing so, they are not helping our society. They are tearing it apart.
They make it harder for women to connect with Allah.
They create distance between women and the mosque.
They place walls between women and the Qur’an.
They make religion feel like a weapon instead of a comfort.
They make faith feel like a burden instead of a home.
And then they wonder why so many women feel lost. Why they are in pain. Why they are angry. Why they are leaving. They do not realise that their behaviour their misuse of religion, their refusal to see women as full human beings is the very thing driving women away.
It is not religion.
It is control.
It is fear.
It is ego.
And until that is faced honestly, openly, and with humility nothing will change.