As the season transitions to spring and summer, my art form changes into living materials. There is nothing better than smelling dirt, having my hands in the dirt, and taking all my energy outdoors and giving it back to the earth. During a yoga class yesterday, all I could think about was how much I loved caring for my gardens, the area I work so hard to maintain. I went back to a conversation I had with my sister when she asked if I had ever thought about getting a master gardener certification. At first I said no, I just want to keep the love I have for plants the way it is. I started to think about that more, and realized that I love plants as an art form, and I never want to break that into a scientific way of thinking. I think that would turn it into a form of control, and I don't ever want to assert control into gardening. I love the lack of control I have in my garden. I work hard to care for my plants, feed them, water them, give them space to grow, and what they need to flourish. In return, they feed me both literally and spiritually. Watching them grow feeds a part of me.
If you were to walk around my gardens, you would see that there is no plan. I have plants everywhere, and have no order for anything. I may move plants to where they get the light they need, or the shade they need. But that is all I can control. I can keep weeds out of certain areas, but I can't control what my surrounding neighbors do, I can only focus on my little peace of heaven. I love seeing the contrast of freshly mowed grass lines, and wild plants. I love the grass lines, I think of it as a outdoor carpet surrounded by beauty. I don't care for dandelions in the lawn because I love walking barefoot on soft grass. I am aware of that control over weeds, so I give back to all the life forms in other ways. I give the bees flowers, I feed ALL the birds and give them food in the winter and safe places to raise their families, I give butterflies water and flowers, and a place to leave their eggs, I leave fresh food waste for the rabbits and other critters. Generally, my dog gets to it first, but I try. I go outdoors knowing that if I give love and attention, it will come back to me in other ways as long as I am open to receiving it.
My universe reminder for this topic, came in the form of a wonderful book I felt called to read. "Braiding Sweetgrass"- by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants. All I needed to do was read a few chapters to figure out this was my sign. I acknowledge the nudge to continue in the direction I am going. This book described the love I have for plants, in a way more eloquent way that I could ever explain. My current goal is to translate this to my body. I feel that no matter how much love and care I give my body, it fights. I have tried to not fight it, but with Endometriosis- there is no win. I can try to maintain, but every month my body reminds me of the lack of control I have. I have yet to learn to find any brilliant realizations from this. I have exhausted all Western Medicine has to offer me, and in the 30 years of "treatment", and I say that with serious sarcasm as there has literally been no new science or plan of action in that time. I have found that continuing with Western Medicine has taken away all control I have over my body. I also signed up, and paid a fortune for it, ironically, thinking that eventually I would get the help I needed. I am still waiting. What this uncontrollable disease has given me is new ways of distraction, learning how to feed the other parts that need feeding. Creativity, and allowing myself to run with it, has given me back some peace. It has encouraged me to learn as much as I can, educate myself, trust myself, and reminded me to listen to my body. I am still searching for the profound insight this is teaching me. But I have to remain open to listening, which is a daily choice and a incredibly difficult thing to do. Inwardly breaking down all the old teachings and knowledge I have been led to believe was the correct way, and accepting this was not the correct way for me to live my life.
I choose creativity. Every piece I work on, is not just a piece or a "thing". It has been a breakthrough. A learning process, and acceptance of my part in this world. Gardening is a lesson in living life- a matter of perception. Now I see that ones yard speaks volumes about who they are as people, there is no right or wrong way to do it, but a snapshot of individuality and personal choice. I respect that, appreciate it, and listen to it.
I now see the irony in how personal my garden photos are, and how open I always have been in sharing them.
Teak is a constant companion in the garden, not the best helper.