There’s no roadmap for the kind of loss that leaves you breathless. No guidebook for the days when getting out of bed feels impossible. That’s why I wrote Reflections of Resilience, because parents like us, who’ve lost a child to suicide, deserve more than clichés and silence. We deserve truth. We deserve tools. And we deserve to feel seen.
This book is born from my own heartbreak. In 2020, I lost my son, Cody, just six days after his 19th birthday. He had battled trauma, addiction, and mental health struggles for years. I did everything I could to help him, but I still carry the weight of what I couldn’t prevent. Cody’s death shattered me, but over the past five years, I’ve learned how to live again, slowly and painfully, one breath at a time.
Reflections of Resilience walks alongside grieving parents through the first five years after losing a child to suicide. The book is broken into four parts, each focused on a different layer of the journey:
- Understanding the grief landscape
- Surviving emotionally
- Processing the suicide itself
- Finding new purpose and hope
Every chapter includes honest reflections, creative prompts, grounding exercises, and snippets of my personal story.
Whether you’re in the raw early days or years into the journey, this book is here to hold space for your pain and remind you that you’re not alone. You won’t find toxic positivity here. Just real, compassionate support from someone who’s walked this road too.
Sneak peek - Excerpt from Chapter 3 The Weight of Guilt and Blame
“Practicing self-forgiveness may feel unnatural at first, especially when the pain is still fresh. But it is essential. One helpful exercise is to write a letter to yourself from your child’s perspective. What would they say if they could see your heart right now?
You are not responsible for the decision your child made. That weight does not belong to you. What you are responsible for now is your healing, your compassion toward yourself, and the continued love you carry for your child.
Release what you were never meant to carry. It will not bring your child back. But it may just bring you back to yourself.
The Blame Game
During Cody’s years of substance abuse and addiction, our family was drowning in crisis.
His struggle with mental health and trauma collided with legal issues, school problems, and broken trust. And while Cody was spiraling, the rest of our family wasn’t untouched by chaos, we were in it with him, trying to stay afloat.
At home, we had two teenage daughters who had suffered the same abuse Cody had endured. They, too, were fighting their own mental health battles. My adult daughter hadn’t experienced the abuse directly, but she suffered for her siblings. She carried the burden in her own way.”
If you know someone navigating this kind of grief, please share. Sometimes the most powerful healing starts with one voice saying, “I’ve been there.”
With love,
DeDe
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