Hopefully this list will help someone out there realize that they're not alone. Overthinking is human nature, I'm convinced. Here's some of the things I overthink about in any given day that ends in -y.
- Is it cool enough outside for a jacket? Like that's gonna stop me from wearing a hoodie anyway.
- Yes! I missed the school zone.
- I hope the line isn't crazy at Dunkin. I'm not going in, cause I'm lazy, and I'm not wearing shoes. Mainly because I'm not wearing shoes.
- People driving like they got a meeting with Jesus.
- *checks phone every 15 minutes even though it's on DND*
- *obsessing over what to do for the day and over-evaluating what I didn't do yesterday for like 30 minutes*
- I'm over it. I'm crushing it.
- *bill collector calls* *sighs* Excellent.
- *repeats #6 for another 30 minutes*
- Maybe I can get a job at McDonald's or something.
- *ends up making another album of beats and decided to build a website* I really did it. I can't believe I did it. I'm doing the thing.
- I hope I can keep this up. Maybe it'll pay off at some point.
- I need a new start. I wish I could go back with everything I know now.
- Then again, I'd probably still make the same decisions and hope for a different outcome...
- Nahhh... I have faith that I could totally do things differently the next go round.
- Wow, it's like almost 10pm. My corner of the world is pretty calm for the most part, and I can't believe all the things I got done today.
- If I fell asleep right now, I'd be so satisfied with what I got done today.
- ... *stays up all night repeating step #6*
- *wakes up at 4:30am and debates whether I should get up now or go back to sleep*
- *always goes back to sleep*
- *wakes up at 7:30am and repeats #1-20
Yeah. It's amazing how complacent we get sometimes. I do feel a sense of belonging to this particular hobby because of how devoted I've become to the process. I taught myself how to do various things in the short time creating lofi beats. For the first time, I started editing videos for YouTube. Making not just individual song videos, but full playlists. I learned how to create an aesthetic, sonically and visually. I even dove into new tools and software to improve and automate my process. So, for once, it feels good to at least be productive even when I have these random, often doubtful, thoughts throughout any given day.
Hopefully you will see past all the doubt and focus on the good you have done.