I’ve been struggling to write about my trip to the coast. It was a good trip. We saw so many beautiful places. I should be writing some sort of travel blog about, but I’m discovering I’m not really a travel blog/vlog sort of person.
I find myself feeling a little disappointed by this trip. It took me a moment to figure out where this feeling was coming from. It was partly from trying to cram too many different goals into one trip and part general life exhaustion.
Vacations are not relaxing recharging events for me. They are chores because they are not my vacations, even when I’m there, they are my husband’s vacations. Sometimes I feel like I have forgotten how to be on vacation.
When I say they are my husband’s vacations, I don’t mean we are spending the entire time doing only what he wants. I try and pick things we both can enjoy. I’m the one doing the ‘chore’ of the vacation. Planning out everything, finding places to stay, mapping out each destination, deciding where we eat, dealing with finances and all that stuff. It’s a chore, like laundry or dishes.
On top of that, I’m trying to have photography trips.
Trying to do both doesn’t work out. My mind is so full of vacation things that photography things get half assed. I come home with few photographs that I don’t really like. There isn’t enough time to do things well.
This is one of the reasons I keep trying to embrace slow travel. Slow travel is a privileged thing and not something currently in my budget. In my dream life I have one of those camper vans and can meander across the country at will taking all the time I want. With vacations being vacations and photography trips being photography trips. At least have some separate moments where I can focus on seeing a place and photograph it and not only rushing through to the next stop.
As always it was amazing to see the Pacific Ocean and walk the beaches. It was energetically healing to walk among the giant Redwood trees and soak them in. I would do those two things forever if I could. Hopefully without ever feeling rushed.
Are things that should be fun or joyful feeling like chores?
If they are, what needs to happen to reduce or remove that feeling?