By S. Nicole – Lived it. Still navigating it.
Where do I begin?
I get excited to do things — to create, build, reclaim my time — but it’s always short-lived.
Exhaustion creeps in faster than inspiration can sustain. I find myself wondering if this is where I’m going to die — in this car, in this constant state of almost but not quite. There’s a unique kind of depression that blooms not just from thoughts but from your surroundings — the lack of a door to close, a stove to cook on, a place to stretch your legs and just exist.
That’s what this post is about.
What the Stress is Environmental Depression?
Depression, as we often define it, lives in the mind. But environmental depression lives in your surroundings. It's the result of intense external factors wearing at you.
It’s the kind of mental and emotional collapse that comes from:
- No stable place to call home
- Constant overstimulation
- Lack of privacy or safety
- Zero access to warmth, peace, or routine
- The sound of cars all night because you're sleeping in one
It’s what happens when your mental health is chipped away by physical chaos, and homelessness is the full package deal.
How Homelessness Breaks You — One Layer at a Time
Raw Truth.
Sleeping in a vehicle is uncomfortable, no matter how many clever TikToks or Instagram reels try to romanticize it. Sleeping in an SUV with another human? Even worse. You start to crave the smallest things:
- The ability to stretch your legs
- The feel of a real bed
- Access to clean water and a restroom without mapping out the nearest 24-hour store
That’s why house-sitting became a lifeline for us — myself and my adult daughter. It gives us access to the things that make us feel human again, even if just for a few days. A stove. A shower. A moment of peace.
But it’s not sustainable. It’s a band-aid on a gunshot wound.
The In-Between Deserves Support Too
Where is the help for people like us — the ones who aren’t sleeping on the streets every night but still don’t have a rooted home?
We’re in this weird in-between:
- Working but not qualifying for aid
- Able-bodied but still struggling to survive
- Scrutinized because we don’t have the right kind of struggle
Assistance today is based on the “Aw” Factor:
“Aw, you’re missing a leg?”
“Aw, you have children under 17?”
“Aw, you’re elderly?”
Well, guess what — even the elderly get pushed aside. And once your child turns 18? Off to the streets they go.
And let’s not even talk about pets. Companions are critical for mental well-being, yet most shelters deny them entry. There are no alternative options, no emotional considerations — just policies that punish.
From 211 to 988: What I Heard Behind the Calls
I used to work as a crisis specialist.
I’ve been on the phones with people in shelters, on sidewalks, in abandoned buildings — crying because assistance wasn’t made for their situation. And with every call, I was in the thick of it.
I’m saying this loud for anyone listening:
Assistance that’s rigid, biased, and exclusionary isn’t help.
It’s red tape wrapped in compassion theater.
We are all human. Period. And if we’re going to rebuild, we need systems that see the full human, not just the part that fits the intake form.
Let’s Talk About It — I Want to Hear Your Truth
This story isn’t just mine. That’s why I’m inviting you — whoever you are — to speak on this too.
Are you unhoused or bouncing around like me?
Or are you housed but curious about what others are really going through?
Your Voice Matters
Whether you’ve experienced homelessness yourself or you’ve only seen it from the outside, I want to hear your truth. Please take a moment to fill out the short form that fits you best. Your input helps shape not just this blog, but the broader conversation around homelessness, mental health, and the environments that shape us.
Fill out the short survey below that fits your experience:
If You’re Unhoused or In Housing Instability:
🔗 Click here to share your experience anonymously
Your story matters. Help shape future conversations and advocacy by adding your voice.
If You’re Housed and Want to Reflect:
🔗 Click here to share your honest perspective
Help challenge assumptions and offer ideas. All responses are anonymous.
💌 Want to stay in the loop?
Each form has an optional space to leave your email. I’ll be sending out occasional reflections, blog posts, and personal updates around homelessness, healing, and rebuilding in unconventional ways.
Final Thought: The American Dream Wasn’t Built for Everyone
Work. Raise a family. Retire. Die in peace.
That’s the script we’re handed, but the truth is: not everyone was built for it, taught how to do it, or given the tools to make it. Some of us are figuring it out day by day, often without a safety net.
Environmental depression isn’t “just in your head.”
It’s the air, the noise, the fear, the hunger, the exhaustion.
And if we keep ignoring it, we’ll keep losing people who simply couldn’t hold on long enough.
Thanks for reading. If this moved you, challenged you, or made you think — stay tuned. This isn’t the end of the story. It’s just the beginning.
With care,
Shereese / S. Nicole Living
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