While taking a social media break and centering myself, one thing keeps coming to mind: community. Then it hit me — Barbara Sher’s blunt truth: “Isolation is the Dream Killer, not your rotten attitude.” She’s not wrong.
COVID forced many of us into reflection, questioning, and, for some, healing. But it also amplified isolation — and for those of us already struggling with mental health or a history of seclusion, it made things worse. Or better, lol. Honestly, it was a welcome break from dealing with people 24/7.
For me, years of mental debilitation kept me secluded, and COVID only amplified that. As a child and teenager, I closed off. I didn’t like associating with people because I couldn’t be myself. My dreams didn’t fit the conversations in the rooms I frequented. How many of you can relate to that?
It wasn’t like we had many choices at that age, and as a Black child growing up in the 80s, it was even tougher. As I grew older, I learned that speaking my desires often meant being drowned out, dismissed, or ridiculed for stepping outside the “acceptable” script. In many Black households, dreaming bigger than the 9-5 grind wasn’t encouraged. Burnout was the literature we inherited.
That messaging runs deep — a generational imprint: “Your wishes don’t matter; you were made for work.” I remember a family member telling me once to just work now and worry about my dreams later. But how much later is too late? I’m 46, and many of my desires are still incomplete.
Barbara Sher helped me see the missing piece: the stretch beyond one’s circle, beyond the neighborhood. That push outside familiar boundaries is where growth, solutions, and community intersect.
One thing I’m loving right now is the audacity and resurgence of truth in this generation — the willingness to question systems, household norms, and the old ideas of “hard work equals worth.” I’m in awe of how many people of color are stepping out of the caves of conformity, taking the knowledge of our predecessors, and shifting the paradigm. Degrees are being earned, travel is embraced, mental wellness is prioritized, and relationships are being nurtured with compassion and deep conversation. We’re taking bold steps and sharing knowledge within our communities, and I couldn’t be more elated.
So how does this tie back to Barbara Sher’s idea about isolation? I see it unfolding in real time. COVID pushed us to ask questions — questions that strangers responded to, creating networks of support we didn’t even know we needed. Entrepreneurs, travelers, and speakers emerged, fueled by curiosity and connection. Dreams and desires were being nurtured, often by people we had never met.
I’ve seen this on my own unhoused journey. To move forward, we have to speak beyond our inner circles, beyond our neighborhoods, beyond the expectations others have of us. On my first house sit, a woman asked directly if we were living in our car. I answered honestly. That openness didn’t just lead to a place to stay in Florida between house sits — it cracked open a window in my mind.
"What if I could be myself and bring my desires to life?"
Leaving the home and circles I’d always known forced me to engage with strangers who held different worldviews, experiences, and ideas. Those conversations fueled my growth and helped me explore topics like this one — shining light on the cracks and crevices in our systems and communities that still need attention.
Even now, during this period of grounding and recalibration, the message rings true: isolation kills dreams. I’m not meant to be a recluse. I’m not meant to be silent. And I’m not meant to keep my wishes to myself.
The life we desire should never be an afterthought. It should be the fire that propels us forward. The same energy we pour into surviving the 9-5 grind deserves to be redirected toward ourselves and our dreams.
For me, the first step is clear: to speak my wishes and the obstacles standing in my way — out loud, in front of people who genuinely want to help. That act alone opens doors, creates opportunities, and invites community into our lives in ways we can’t anticipate.
So, what about you? What’s a desire you’ve been holding back, and what’s standing in the way? Drop it in the comments. Speak it. Share it. You never know which stranger — or friend — might be ready to help make it real.
Isolation doesn’t have to kill our dreams. Connection, courage, and conversation can breathe them to life. Let’s start here, together.
✨ Ready to move from wishing to doing? My “Now What” newsletter gives you prompts, guidance, and practical tools to tackle obstacles, speak your desires, and connect with a community ready to help. Let’s make those dreams real — subscribe here!
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