Vast waves of highs and lows.
Moods that either render me or catapult me into productive overdrive.
I’ve always been what others might call “sensitive,” but this?
This emotional warfare is something else.
Vehicle life meets perimenopause.
Getting older is… well, “grand,” right? Your body starts playing tricks on you — stiffness, pain, restless sleep, and a mind that becomes a battlefield. Add in being unhoused and uncertain day to day, and you’ve got a cocktail of chaos.
This week alone has been rough. Sleep disruptions, anxiety spikes, and moments where if one more person tells me to "just pray," I might lose it. It’s been a strange mix of out-of-body feelings and deep emotional flares.
I'm currently at a house sit, which helps ease some of these discomforts. But that relief is short-lived. The constant rotation — in a home, then back to the car — adds weight to the emotional burden.
Fighting for Balance
Right now, my number one priority is my well-being.
Mental. Physical. Energetic.
I’ve started incorporating strategic walks and being more mindful of what I consume — both in terms of nutrition and cost. While house sits allow me to cook balanced meals with real appliances, life in the vehicle makes that ten times harder.
Food variety becomes a challenge. Ice for the cooler has to be bought daily. And the overall cost of eating increases — believe it or not, we spend more on food when living in our vehicle than when temporarily housed.
People think peanut butter, canned beans, and processed meats should suffice. But here’s the reality:
- Most canned foods are loaded with sodium.
- Eating the same foods repeatedly leads to nutritional gaps.
- You can develop intolerances from limited diets.
- And more importantly: Being homeless does not mean we should settle.
We still deserve nourishment.
We still deserve choice.
We still deserve to feel good in our bodies.
And yes I am aware of other vanlife utilities and optional ways to create hot meals but those things still cost. We build as we can.
Starting Over Again (and Again)
In addition to food and movement, I’m trying to reintroduce vitamin supplements and build a daily routine. These were key in my blood pressure management and weight loss before this unexpected turn into homelessness.
I know what to do.
I’ve done it before.
But regaining traction while trying to simply survive? That’s another story.
Still, I keep showing up.
Doing what I can, when I can, in hopes something will finally shift.
Because it has to.
Thanks for reading.
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