One of the first comments I remember getting after switching to part-time was:
"Wah, you must be a tai tai."
Or,
"You're rich."
To be honest, those comments used to bother me.
When I was younger, I felt the need to explain myself, the impulse to say
"If I were really a tai tai, would I even be bothered to work part-time?"
I'd probably just be... not working.
But luckily, I withheld.
In fact, I knew the decision would come with trade-offs and financial adjustments.
What I didn't know was what those adjustments would actually look like.
At that point, I didn't have anyone in my life who had chosen a similar path. There wasn't a reference point, or someone I could turn to and ask, "How did you make it work?"
That uncertainty made it a little scary.
And I was stepping away from full-time work at what many would consider the prime of my career.
Naturally, I wondered what I was giving up.
Looking back now, I don't think those comments came from a bad place.
In fact, if I had never met someone who worked part-time, or had not taken the time to understand their reasons, I might have made the same assumption too.
Perhaps the simplest explanation is:
"She must be able to afford it."
And honestly, there is some truth in that.
Working part-time does mean accepting a different financial reality.
It means making peace with earning less.
It means saying no to certain things so that you can say yes to others.
It means becoming more intentional with how you spend your time, money and energy.
All in exchange for a healthier and more peaceful life.
So yes...
today, I can afford to work part-time.
Because, over the years, I've intentionally built a life that allows me to.
.......
I have also learnt something.
People will always have opinions about a life they only see from the outside.
Whether you work part-time or full-time, there will always be something someone has an opinion about. That's simply part of life, and it's not something we can control.
And that's okay (coming from a person who has low self-esteem, it has been a long way)
Not everyone needs to understand your choices.
The people who genuinely care about you will ask with curiosity.
"They'll stay long enough to hear your story."
Everyone else is simply making sense of your life through the lens of their own experiences.
And these people are no longer part of my daily life.
So really, don't give people's opinions far more weight than they deserved.
.......
These days, I don't feel the need to explain myself as much.
I just smile, even when I know people are still talking.
"Just smile"
The older I get, the more I realise that peace doesn't come from changing other people's perceptions.
It comes from becoming comfortable with your own decisions.
Perhaps that's one of the unexpected gifts of growing older.
Or, as I often tell people, I've simply become a little more "thick-skinned."
Not because I care less about people.
But because I've learnt that I don't need everyone to understand me.
"You spend a little less time trying to be understood by everyone...
...and a little more time understanding yourself."
Channel your energy wisely.
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