Kundalini, often referred to as the Serpent Power, has been spoken about for thousands of years across many spiritual traditions. While some associate it with Eastern philosophy, references to this mysterious life force can also be found hidden within Western mysticism, alchemy, and even spiritual symbolism found throughout religious texts. It remains a phenomenon that is difficult to explain through conventional science, often leaving those who experience it searching for answers beyond the physical world.
My own Kundalini awakening began unexpectedly in March of 2019. At the time, I was moving through one of the most painful periods of my life. I had experienced a profound separation that shattered everything I thought I knew about love, connection, and myself. The grief was unlike anything I had ever known. It felt as though my heart had been torn open, exposing parts of my soul that I could no longer ignore.
In the midst of that heartbreak, something extraordinary happened. During an intimate encounter, I experienced what I can only describe as a powerful energetic activation. What began as a physical experience quickly transcended the physical world. Time seemed to disappear. My awareness expanded beyond my body, and I felt suspended between two realities, one physical and one spiritual.
The sensation was overwhelming. Waves of energy moved through me with an intensity I had never experienced before. There was an incredible feeling of love, bliss, and connection, yet at the same time there was fear, confusion, and a sense that my entire reality had been turned upside down. It felt as though every cell in my body had suddenly awakened.
In the days that followed, my body reacted strongly to the experience. I experienced trembling, surges of energy, heightened sensitivity, and periods of emotional overwhelm. My nervous system felt overloaded. Spiritual insights, intuitive impressions, and symbolic messages seemed to arrive faster than I could process them. I had no framework to understand what was happening, and I found myself desperately searching for answers.
Looking back, I believe this was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
The energy I experienced felt like a current of heat moving throughout my entire body. It seemed to travel upward through my spine, activating different areas of awareness as it moved. While many traditions describe Kundalini as dormant life force energy resting at the base of the spine, I can only speak from my own experience: it felt as though something ancient and powerful had been awakened within me.
That awakening marked the beginning of a journey that would completely transform my life.
Nothing remained untouched. My beliefs, relationships, priorities, and sense of identity all began to shift. The life I had known before seemed to dissolve, making space for something entirely new to emerge. It was both beautiful and devastating.
One of the most challenging aspects of the experience was the impact it had on my physical body. I experienced intense pressure throughout my neck, spine, and nervous system. At times, it felt as though I was carrying more energy than my body knew how to hold. There were moments when even the lightest touch felt overwhelming.
Sleep also changed dramatically. For weeks, and at times months, I found myself needing very little rest. My mind was constantly active. Questions filled my thoughts as I searched for meaning in what had happened. I became fascinated by spirituality, mysticism, symbolism, and ancient wisdom traditions. Subjects that had never previously captured my attention suddenly became impossible to ignore.
Approximately two months after my Kundalini activation, I experienced what I can only describe as a three-day ascension spiral. To this day, it remains one of the most profound and difficult experiences of my life to put into words. During those three days, I felt as though my consciousness was moving through multiple layers of reality simultaneously. There was a sensation of spiraling upward through dimensions of awareness, retrieving what I perceived to be ancient memories, symbolic keys, spiritual insights, and fragments of knowledge that seemed far beyond my ordinary understanding.
My awakening experience gave me a sense of complete oneness with the entire universe. I felt completely liberated and free from the lower world of materialism and possessions. I felt free from all lustful earthly pleasures and lost interest in the material world. I had restored my direct connection to Source, a feeling of oneness as I was taken to the realm of angels and heavenly presence, and so began a journey to self, to appreciate inner peace and harmony.
The experience came in waves. I would feel myself expanding into vast states of consciousness, receiving information at incredible speed, and then I would descend back into my body, emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed by what I had encountered. It felt as though I was moving between worlds, gathering pieces of a puzzle I did not yet fully understand.
The most powerful moment occurred during Mother's Day weekend of 2019. While standing in my kitchen, I experienced what felt like a profound spiritual vision. In that moment, I felt as though I was witnessing the crucifixion of Jesus firsthand. The experience was so vivid and emotionally overwhelming that I dropped to my knees in grief. It was not simply grief for Jesus, but grief for my own life, my old identity, and everything I thought I knew about myself and the world around me.
Looking back, it felt as though I was being initiated into a deeper understanding of surrender, sacrifice, and spiritual rebirth. At the time, I interpreted the experience as my own symbolic death and resurrection—a shedding of the old self in order to make space for something entirely new. It was as though every attachment, belief, and illusion that could no longer accompany me on my path was being stripped away.
Upon completion of that three-day ascension experience, everything came crashing back down to earth in a way I never could have anticipated.
Concerned by the dramatic changes they were witnessing, my family contacted the police because they believed I was having a mental health crisis. Looking back, I can understand why they were worried. From the outside, I am sure my behavior appeared unusual. I was speaking about spiritual experiences, visions, synchronicities, and expanded states of consciousness that most people around me had never encountered before. While I did not feel disconnected from reality, I was undoubtedly experiencing reality in a way that was completely unfamiliar to both myself and those around me.
I was taken from my life and my children in handcuffs and transported to the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. It was one of the most confusing and heartbreaking experiences of my life. Only days earlier, I had experienced what felt like the most profound connection to love, divinity, and universal consciousness I had ever known. Suddenly, I found myself being treated as though something was wrong with me.
For approximately three weeks, I remained in the psychiatric unit while doctors and medical professionals attempted to understand what was happening. Numerous evaluations and assessments were conducted, yet I struggled to explain an experience that felt entirely spiritual in nature through the language of modern psychology. I often felt caught between two worlds, one that interpreted my experiences through a spiritual lens and another that viewed them solely through a clinical one.
That time in the hospital profoundly changed my perspective on mental health. It left me wondering how many people throughout history may have undergone extraordinary spiritual experiences without having the language, guidance, or support to understand what was happening to them. While I recognize that genuine mental health crises exist and deserve compassionate treatment, my own experience caused me to question where the line exists between spiritual awakening and psychological distress.
During my stay, a series of strange and meaningful experiences continued to unfold. Whether they were synchronicities, projections of my own consciousness, or something else entirely, they left a lasting impression on me. One morning, I noticed what appeared to be a Shania Twain CD positioned near my bedside, yet my attention was repeatedly drawn to the word "Twin" as someone altered Twain to say Twin. At a time when I was trying desperately to make sense of my experiences, moments like these felt deeply symbolic.
There were other moments that felt equally surreal. I remember hearing conversations around me that seemed to mirror themes I was processing internally. Certain phrases appeared repeatedly, almost as if reality itself was speaking through the people around me. Looking back, I cannot say with certainty what these experiences meant, but they became part of the unfolding mystery of my awakening.
One morning, I woke to find a book on numerology, tarot and spiritual subjects as if by pure magic, appear on my bedside table, and I immersed myself in study. While confined to the hospital, I spent countless hours reading, journaling, reflecting, and attempting to understand the visions and experiences that had transformed my life. I quickly learned that speaking openly about spiritual experiences often resulted in them being interpreted as hallucinations or symptoms of illness. As a result, much of my journey became deeply internal.
Although the hospitalization itself was traumatic, it became a pivotal turning point in my story. The confusion, isolation, and fear I experienced during those weeks ultimately became the catalyst for what followed. It was after leaving the hospital that I descended into what I now recognize as my Dark Night of the Soul, a period of profound grief, depression, questioning, and spiritual reconstruction that would last for many months.
For approximately nine months, I moved through the deepest depression and emotional upheaval I had ever known. The bliss and euphoria that had accompanied parts of my awakening gave way to profound grief, loneliness, confusion, and relentless self-examination.
Yet it was during those nine months that the foundation for my work today was laid. I immersed myself in the study of tarot, numerology, astrology, esoteric teachings, Gnostic texts, symbolism, mythology, and spiritual philosophy. I spent countless hours searching for answers, attempting to understand what had happened to me and why my life had changed so dramatically.
What began as a desperate search for meaning slowly evolved into a path of healing, wisdom, and service. The practices, teachings, and tools that now form the foundation of my work were born from that period of darkness. In many ways, the woman I am today was forged during those months of questioning, surrender, and spiritual transformation.
As my journey continued, I noticed profound changes in my perception. My intuition became stronger. I felt more connected to something greater than myself. Moments of synchronicity increased. I began trusting my inner guidance in ways I never had before.
For nearly a year, I found myself navigating layer after layer of emotional healing. There was no shortcut.
Every wound had to be acknowledged. Every shadow had to be faced. It was painful, but it was also liberating.
Over time, I came to understand that the awakening was not about escaping life. It was about becoming fully present within it. It was about releasing what was false and returning to what was authentic.
The process taught me that true transformation is rarely comfortable. It asks us to let go of old identities, outdated beliefs, and attachments that no longer serve our growth. It requires courage, surrender, and a willingness to step into the unknown.
Today, when I reflect on my Kundalini awakening, I see it as the catalyst that changed everything. It initiated a journey of healing, self-discovery, spiritual exploration, and service. It stripped away illusions and challenged me to become more honest with myself than ever before.
While every awakening experience is unique, mine ultimately led me back to the same truth: that healing begins within, and that the journey home to ourselves is often the most sacred journey we will ever take
Today, when I look back on my Kundalini awakening, I no longer see it as a single event, but as the beginning of an ongoing journey. It shattered everything I thought I knew about myself, challenged my beliefs, and forced me to walk through some of the darkest moments of my life. Yet it also awakened within me a deeper sense of purpose, intuition, compassion, and connection to something greater than myself.
I do not claim to have all the answers, nor do I expect others to interpret my experiences in the same way that I have. This is simply my story—one woman's journey through loss, transformation, healing, and spiritual awakening. What I know with certainty is that the experience changed me forever. It taught me that sometimes our greatest breakdowns become the doorway to our greatest breakthroughs, and that even in our darkest moments, there can be meaning, growth, and profound beauty waiting to emerge.
If sharing my journey helps even one person feel less alone in their own awakening, healing, or search for truth, then every step of this path has been worthwhile..
Tenacious Taurus Tarot & Astro Insights