Hey everyone,
Last night, my husband and I were watching Perfect Match. We love reality TV—but for very different reasons. He’s there for the drama, the tea, and the pretty women (and before y’all say anything… yes, I like the pretty women too 😂).
But me? I’m watching like it’s a case study. I study human behavior. People-watching is one of my favorite pastimes.
And while we were watching, I noticed something interesting… we were having completely different reactions to the same situations.
Like when someone kissed three women during the boys’ mixer…
versus when a certain woman refused to play truth or dare because she felt locked in with her man and didn’t want to disrespect that.
Same show. Same scenes. Very different reactions.
If you haven’t seen it, you should—the tea is real.
But it got me thinking…
Why were our reactions so different?
And then it clicked.
Even though my husband and I share the same goals for our life…
our values are not the same.
For example, we both wanted to build a strong foundation for our family.
Same goal.
But the why behind that goal? Completely different.
He wanted that because he didn’t grow up with a relationship with his father—so being present for his wife and kids mattered deeply to him.
Me? I didn’t even want to get married at one point because I had never seen a healthy marriage.
(He won that one, clearly 😅)
And over 20+ years, we’ve had thousands of moments like that.
Here’s the truth nobody really tells you:
It’s hard work to stop and ask yourself why you make the decisions you make…
and then decide if that’s a hill worth dying on.
And it doesn’t stop. Ever.
Because life is just a series of decisions.
And if you want to make decisions you can actually live with—you need to understand your why.
But it doesn’t end there.
Once you know your why…
you also have to be open enough to hear and understand your partner’s why.
Not agree.
Not always fully understand.
But be open.
Because that’s where real connection lives.
And yeah—I know that’s a lot.
But that’s exactly why knowing your values is so important.
And knowing your partner’s values? Just as important.
Because at the end of the day, you have to be able to accept each other’s “why”…
even when it’s different from yours.
Acceptance is a whole different conversation for another day.
But for now—if you need help figuring out what your values are, or even what that really looks like in real life—I got you.
I’ve also linked my store where you can grab a free worksheet or dive deeper with one of my workbooks to help you do the work for yourself.
https://payhip.com/HelpYourselfHub
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