Hello everyone,
One thing most people don’t know about me is that I’m in a constant war with myself.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m bipolar, an Aquarius, or just damaged from all the trauma, but I am. I always got that little angel and little devil sitting on my shoulders arguing with each other, and most of the time I honestly don’t know which one I’m going to listen to until the last minute.
I look at myself as a good person.
Shit, it takes a lot of work sometimes, but I do my best to make the right decisions, consider other people, help whenever I can, and be the adult I needed growing up.
But baby… some days I ask myself:
Why am I working so hard to be this person when the world already expects me to fuck up anyway?
Or expects me to not be shit?
Now let me clarify something before people start assuming things.
My husband is amazing. Honestly one of the best people anybody could have on their side. My kids are awesome. My friends are ride-or-dies for real.
But the reason I said what I said is because it feels like every single time I try to better myself in some way, somebody always got something to say.
And okay, sometimes my family and friends are just shit-talking because that’s what we do 😂
But for me, I think it goes deeper than that.
Growing up, I dealt with my father and other people constantly calling me out of my name, putting me down, pointing out my flaws, reminding me of my mistakes. Then other times my father would do nice things for me and tell me how much he loved me.
Daddy issues. I know.
That kind of love-and-pain combo will confuse the hell out of a child.
And even through all of that, I still worked hard to be the best daughter, student, sister, friend, and person I could be.
So why am I sharing all this?
Because for the past 10 months I’ve been learning about AI.
And let me tell you… my family and friends think it’s weird as hell 😂
Honestly, I get it. AI is a scary topic, especially if you’re not technical. Trust me, I wasn’t either, and I still got a lot to learn.
I’m the type of person who still prefers physical books because digital reading doesn’t hit the same. I keep a notebook and pen in my purse because my first instinct is to write things down instead of opening the notes app on my phone.
When digital banking first became a thing, I fought against it forever.
And like a lot of people… I regret not getting into Bitcoin early.
That taught me something important though:
Whether we like it or not, money, business, marketing, and opportunity are moving online.
Fast.
So I made a decision.
For myself.
For my family.
For my kids and future grandbabies.
I was going to learn.
I started building my social media presence. Hell, I even had an OnlyFans at one point.
And before y’all start judging me, I was trying to make money for my family 😂
But I learned real quick that it wasn’t for me. Even though I was only posting solo content, it still didn’t align with who I wanted to be long term.
And honestly? I’m glad I tried because at least now I know instead of wondering “what if.”
That’s the thing about growth:
Sometimes you have to test things out to figure out what actually fits your spirit.
So when I started learning about AI and seeing how fast the world is changing—seeing predictions about automation replacing huge amounts of jobs over the next decade—I told myself I refuse to sit around pretending it’s not happening.
I don’t want my family left behind because I was too scared to learn something new.
I want to break generational curses.
Not just financially either.
Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually too.
Yesterday I learned how to create my own AI clone, and I made a TikTok using it. I was so proud of myself!!!
But whew… the mixed reactions shocked me.
Some people were excited and supportive. Some wanted me to teach them how I did it.
But what hurt was how quickly some of the people closest to me started talking shit or acting distrustful toward AI and what I was doing.
And logically, I know they probably didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
At least I hope not.
But PTSD is real.
And suddenly I wasn’t an adult learning new technology anymore. Mentally, I was that little girl standing in front of her father again waiting to be told she wasn’t good enough.
That’s the crazy thing about trauma:
Sometimes your body reacts before your mind can catch up.
But after sitting with those feelings, I realized something important.
It’s not really their fault.
Most people were programmed to fear change, fear uncertainty, and fear the unknown.
I’m just wired differently.
I thrive in change.
I thrive in adaptation.
I thrive in figuring things out.
And honestly? I think survival forced me to become that way.
So I’m going to keep learning.
Keep growing.
Keep leveling up.
Because the more I learn, the more I can help the people I love.
But first?
I have to put my own oxygen mask on before helping everybody else.
That’s why knowing your values, goals, and self-worth matters so much.
Because if you don’t know who you are, the world will try to tell you.
And people will project their fears onto you every single chance they get.
They don’t have to fully understand me.
I know they love me.
And more importantly:
I love me.
That took years to say confidently.
I refuse to stay comfortable being only a consumer with a consumer mindset.
I’m an entrepreneur.
I’m a creator.
I’m a money-maker.
I’m a boss.
And I will not let the world—or anybody else—steal my joy, my ambition, or my belief in myself.
Not anymore.
And if you’re struggling to find your confidence, your purpose, or your inner boss after life tried to convince you to play small, I’m here to help.
I also linked my store below where you can download worksheets and workbooks designed to help you help yourself.
https://payhip.com/HelpYourselfHub
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