Cancer brings out lots of changes, things, people, feelings, disruptions, and just general overwhelming-ness. Regardless of the stage, it all seems to be the same.
This is the time THE PERSON WITH CANCER is First.
This will fly in the face of society. Generally, we think of ourselves as tough and thinking of yourself is selfish.
I wish I could wave a wand and make that thought process all go away.
Alas, I would probably end up just smacking and stabbing people with the wand and I'd get it taken away.
When I was first diagnosed, I created my Ring Circle.
If you don't know what the Ring Theory is (and who does until they are smack in the center of it), it is a Circle with rings created by breast cancer survivor and clinical psychologist, Dr. Susan Silk Ph.D., and arbitrator/mediator, Barry Goldman.
The cancer patient is the center. The ring around that circle is the spouse or caregiver. The ring around that one is whoever you chose. And it keeps going with more rings.
Here's why this matters. As the center of the ring, ONLY comfort dumps in. The center can dump out all they want to whatever rings they want.
No one gets to dump garbage in, toward the center. This means, as the cancer patient, I could rant and rave and nitpick all I wanted.
But no one got to rant and rave at me.
You can put whoever you want on whatever ring you want. In theory, family would go on one of the more center rings, but what if a member is toxic and tries to dump into your center? Push them to one of the further out rings.
Bottom line, the only thing going to center is comfort.
Having established this meant I was the center and could make decisions on what I needed, not what someone else needed.
Now on to taking care of yourself.
Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or lengthy or hard or expensive. A lot of times we hear the words “self-care” and it invokes bubble baths, soft music, candles and peace and ever-loving quiet. While that is great and highly recommended, it doesn’t have to be that elaborate.
Here are some simple ways to take care of yourself.
Water – Make sure you are hydrated. This is often the first thing that gets forgotten.
Eat – Munch on something healthy. Nuts, cheese, fruit and veggies are quick go-tos.
Skin care –Your skin is your largest organ. Make sure you give it some love.
Sleep – Always, always, when you can, sleep.
Move – It sounds counter-productive, but moving can make you feel worlds better. It’s hard to get started (I totally get it), but even just stretching your wrists or your ankles can get you started.
Meditate – This one is challenging, but effective. Give yourself grace and start slow.
Stretch – Stand up and touch your toes. Then reach for the sky. It’s movement. It helps your body.
Go Outside – Stale house air is just that – stale. Get outside and breathe some fresh air. Even if it’s just standing outside the door.
Music – Play something that takes you back in time. Play something YOU want to hear.
Get Creative – Paint, write, draw, build, sew, make, whatever to gets the right side of your brain going.
Self-Massage/Acupressure – No time for a 75 minute massage? You can learn how to give yourself quick massages. As well, there are pressure points all over your body to release tension.
Shower – Faster than a bath and has much of the same effects. When we feel like crud, we often forget this part because it takes so much energy.
Foot Bath – The quick version of a bath for those tootsies that carry you through the day (literally).
Bath – Yes, have at a full bubble bath complete with candles and music and quiet.
Cancer sucks (I'll say it again and again) so this is the time to look inward to what is going to help YOU.
