I've been saved since I was 15 years old, and my walk with God has not been an easy one. Ive dealt with heart break, broken trust, disappointments, lost relationships and betrayal. and through all of it God never abandoned me, He was always there, through it all....ALWAYS.
But in the midst of parenthood, marriage, work and everyday responsibilities I stopped letting God be there for me. Now please know that we can't control God, but God is a gentleman and he will not force himself into any space.
Recently (in the last 9 months) I've transitioned into a new field of work. Mortgage Lending. Before my transition I knew nothing about the industry other than my own experience of buying my first home. Needless to say there was a very big learning curve. It was a big decision, one I prayed about and fasted for, but that's a story for another day. With all of the stressors outside of work, learning a new trade and dealing with my own perfectionist complex, my anxiety level has been at an all time high.
This has been the most anti-social I have ever been, and I have been through some stuff. But the other morning I decided to listen to the book of Philippians on repeat all day.
1:6 - And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
1:29,30 - For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it.
And finally...
4:6,7 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
All 3 scriptures were immensely encouraging but that final verse opened my eyes to what my problem was... "Tell God what you need, and thank him for he has done. Then you will experience Gods peace..."
In that moment I understood that I was not letting God be God. I wasn't bringing to him the things that were stressing me and giving Him the opportunity to be God, my Jehovah Jireh (Provider), my El Roi (The God Who Sees ME), my Abba (Father), my Jehovah Rapha (The Lord Who Heals), my Immanuel (God With Us), and my Deliverer.
The following morning I deleted all my social media apps, I quieted the voice of the world. I'm still working on building up my consistency in being in the presence of God, but I am no longer in default mode when I open my phone or when I'm stressed and anxious to run to social media. If you too have this struggle, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God will meet you where you are, He knows your heart <3
Until next time - live in simplicity!
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