“Family? Family? You don’t know the first thing about family. You said you loved me, and you think a sorry is going to cut it. Please stop talking to me.”
“Salt, I didn’t know we’d be here, like this. I was in between a rock and a hard place.”
“I need space, Komante. I need to think, to process all of this.” Her voice was resolute, final. She was right, not only had I held back from her, but this was her first time hearing about her mother.
The rest of the flight passed in a tense silence, a rift growing between us with each passing mile. When we landed and made our way to the hospital, the air between us was thick with fear of the unknown, ache, and heartbreak. I felt like I was crumbling with each step she took in front of me. I was supposed to be by her side, not following behind like a lost puppy. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I decided against it.
At the hospital, I tried to talk with her again. The silence was killing me, “Salt, please, let’s talk about this. I fuckin love you and I want to, no I need you to let me make this up to you.”
But she was firm and prepared to stand on business. “I’ll talk to you after I’ve seen my family. I need time. Can you respect that? Or are you too selfish for that?”
I stepped back and watched her walk around from me. As she got further away, I felt a part of me fracture. Our world that had been smooth sailing, was now splintered and capsizing. I knew I would fuck this up someway somehow. It always happened that way. I wasn’t good with veering from the path, and not taking orders. If I was trusted with something I valued that. I sighed because maybe that was bullshit. Salt had trusted me with her heart, and I shit on it. I was truthfully put in an impossible situation. I had no warning of her heart taking up space near mine. But the minute it did was the time to tell her.
“Fuckkk.”
In the empty corridor of the hospital, I stood alone. As I waited for her, my mind replayed the argument, her words, and the fact that I felt so far away from her even though she was in the same building. I knew that the road ahead would be difficult, that earning back her trust would not be easy. But I also knew that I would do whatever it took. Salt was the love of my life, and I couldn’t let her slip away.
I felt a firm hand on my shoulder, and as I turned, I was met with the gaze of Mr. Perry.
“Portugal, huh?” His voice was even, but there was a sharpness in his eyes that I couldn’t ignore.
Standing my ground, I replied, “Yes, it was her choice. She deserved it.”
Mr. Perry’s expression was hard to read. “Son, I remember asking you to protect her, not to fall for her. Am I mistaken in that?”
I met his gaze not flinching or in the mood to explain myself but out of respect I did. “I have a great deal of respect for you, but I am my own man. Salt and I... what we have, it evolved naturally. I won’t apologize for that.”
He studied me for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. “I’ve always known you were not one to seek permission.”
“And I’m not one to ask for forgiveness where it’s not due. Falling in love with Salt is something I’m not sorry for, period.”
There was a pause, a moment where he was either going to respect it or not. Either way it wasn’t going to change how I felt or how I moved. But as Mr. Perry’s eyes softened slightly, I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about that.
“I see. You’ve always been a straight shooter, Komante. So, I will be as well, remember, I don’t play about her.”
“And I won’t either sir.” He extended his hand, I shook it and nodded. Mr. Perry continued on ahead and stopped to speak with Salt. I stood idly waiting for a moment to speak with her but knew right now wasn’t the time. Every now and again we’d make eye contact, but I could see the pain in her eyes. After fifteen minutes of waiting, I sent a text and left.
“… I love you, Salt with everything in me. I hear your request for space. I’m going to give it to you and allow you time with your family. I don’t want to be a distraction. I feel like I’ve robbed you of enough time and for that I’m sorry. I’ll be around and I will be back.”
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