Hello, Reckless Babes
First I want to say thank you so much for being a part of my Reckless Tribe. My first blog was going to be about Reckless but all weekend this topic plagued me. So next week we will circle back to how I started Reckless and why.
So today I ask the question that I also had to ask myself. I actually ask myself this question whenever I'm feeling down and out about continuing my writing carer. So, Are you married to the pen? I mean really think about it. Are you committed or just testing the waters? Are you in this thang for the long haul or just in a contract?
When I think about this question it seriously makes you put things into perspective. If you aren't married don't fret by the end of this you will understand exactly what I'm asking and saying.
I've been married twice and each of them took a lot of work. Well, I'm currently married and believe me each day takes work. Writing is the same way when you think about it. Much like relationships and marriage, remember we need to treat this writing ish just like a relationship or marriage, you have to cultivate it, and make sure it's the right fit for you and where you are in life. You also have to love it sometimes in spite of and sometimes you have to compromise. You won't always win, you won't always be head over heels in love, and you won't always think highly of it. But if you are committed to it like you should be you will always get back to it.
The words littered in my vows are this to writing:
Commitment
Transparency
Compromise
Desire
Love
Let's Break them each down to ensure you know exactly if you are in this thing to win it.
-Commitment: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity
Commitment is a big one. You must know if you are committed in its entirety to the process. It's not easy but so worth it. The process requires long nights, sleepless nights, early mornings, and missed engagements all in the name of dedicating yourself to the cause. So right here right now you need to decide if you are dedicated to the cause. Honestly, first I would define your cause. Is this about money? Is this your passion? Is this just a hobby?
My commitment didn't start right away. My first book was published in 2017. The entire time I wrote it I thought this would be a Wham Bam, Thank you Ma'am type of thing. Girl, it wasn't, it wasn't at all. The realization that this was something pushing for long-term commitment had me shooketh! Slowly I came around and now I'm 22 novels in. And it was because I remained committed to the process and my craft.
-Transparency: the condition of being transparent, open
The one thing I hold in high regard when it came to my craft is my level of transparency. From the beginning, I knew I wanted to bring my real-life trials into my novels. Not to expose anyone but because that was my cause. My cause has always been to take what I went through and give it to someone else. I want anyone I come into contact with to miss the BS I experienced in my late teens and twenties.
But with your craft and the marriage to the pen, you need to be open and honest with yourself and the craft. Listen to yourself and your characters. But also find a transparent moment to give your readers. They will love it.
-Sacrifice- the surrender of something for the sake of something else
I've been married for going on five years in March and it requires a level of sacrifice that is so layered, rewarding, and sometimes nerve-wracking. However, it must be done. That goes back to not always winning. The places you are going will require sacrifice and a lot of it. Sacrifice doesn't always feel good nor is it easy. But the long nights, the loss of sleep, the loss of doing hoodrat shit with your hoodrat friends is rewarding when you hit publish and the world gets YOUR book in their hands. It's rewarding when readers slide into your inbox with the infamous, Girl, you did that! It's at that moment that you see how the sacrifice paid off.
-Desire- to long or hope for
Sis, this one is a hard one and definitely takes so much it's almost draining. You know when your spouse just pisses you off to the highest pisstivity that you damn near want to throw some shit in a bag and throw in the towel, writing will do the same thing. Especially these characters we work so hard to create. But you can't give up so easily. You can win this one, by stepping away and regaining focus on the desire. The desire to wow the world or better yet wow yourself is the motive. You've got to seriously desire this more than you despise it.
It drives me crazy when I get on Facebook and see a fellow author saying that they are giving up writing and writing isn't working for them. I was like, Sis, what you mean? This will work for you if you allow it and want it to work for you. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes WORK. You can't give up when the tide gets a little rough. Now I understand family situations and such. But to give up because what you wanted to happen hasn't happened yet is absurd. You can't give up on this marriage. That's what the enemy wants. The enemy will not get what's rightfully mine and what I worked tirelessly for. PERIOD POOH! Keep that shit pushing, swallow those feelings and step back. Acknowledge, Remove and Accept.
-Acknowledge how you feel
-Remove what's hindering you
- Accept that you may have to change courses
-Love- the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
This is really serious. Do you love what you do? Are you happy with this marriage? Because if not, this will block you from reaching your full potential. And it won't be because you've done something wrong, it will be because you aren't in it for the right reasons. I live in a military town and my husband was in the service. It's a common theme that a lot of women and men marry around here for the benefits. Although they are great, they aren't the reason I keep showing up. I keep showing up because of love, pure love.
This is what writing needs from you. It needs you to truly keep coming back because you love its dirty bathwater. LOL! But seriously, you truly have to love this work. You have to love the challenge. You have to love the rise and fall. You have to love the sacrifice. You have to love this writing ish to be loved back.
Love requires, showing up, consistency, and devotion. If you won't show up for writing, writing won't show up for you. If you can't be consistent with writing, writing won't be consistent for you. If you can't be devoted, writing won't be devoted to you. This writing ish is all about give and take. You've got to bend but don't break. You've got to show up for the right reason. Money can't be the motive. Don't get me wrong we all want it but that can't be the sole reason you do this, because that's when it turns into a job. This is your passion and possibly your legacy. You've got to show up even when you don't feel like it.
Now again I'll ask you, Are you Married to the Pen? Are you willing to take its hand in yours and vow to stay committed? Are you ready to show up even when you are disappointed? If you are, I suggest you take a moment to write your vows to this pen and stick to it when times get hard. Because they will.
With Love, C. Monet
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