Validation? Nah, that's for parking, not for your life, your choices, or your dreams. When we get caught up in this approval-seeking game, we're giving away our power, our authenticity, and our sense of self. We're basically saying, "Hey, I don't trust my own judgment, so I need you to tell me I'm okay." But guess what? You ARE okay, just the way you are.

When you constantly dip your toes in the waters of others' expectations, absorb their advice, and adapt your choices based on individuals who haven't even ventured beyond their front porch, you're essentially giving away your power. 

Listen, this has been on my heart a lot. Honestly, I'm always wishing and praying we are all released from seeking validation because it's not doing you any favors. It's actually holding you back! There's a difference between validation and celebration.

While receiving validation from others can feel satisfying, some become addicted to seeking external approval instead of finding motivation from within. If you can't self-motivate without external validation, you may be grappling with an approval addiction.

Understanding Approval Addiction:

In a world where social media likes and comments, performance evaluations, and peer opinions carry substantial weight, it's easy to fall into the trap of seeking approval. But what happens when the quest for validation becomes an addiction? Let's delve deeper into this phenomenon and explore whether you might be unknowingly caught in its grip.

The Approval Addiction Spectrum:

Approval addiction isn't a one-size-fits-all condition. It exists on a spectrum, with subtle signs at one end and more pronounced behaviors at the other. Understanding where you fall on this spectrum can be a crucial step in regaining control of your life.

Mild Approval Seeker: At the milder end of the spectrum, you may occasionally seek validation or reassurance from others. This might manifest as wanting feedback on your ideas or feeling good when you receive compliments.

Moderate Approval Seeker: As you move further along the spectrum, seeking approval becomes more frequent. You may find yourself constantly comparing your achievements to those of others, needing validation to feel confident in your choices.

Severe Approval Addict: At the extreme end of the spectrum, approval addiction can significantly impact your life. You might make major life decisions based solely on others' expectations, suffer from chronic anxiety about what others think, or struggle with low self-esteem when not receiving validation.

Signs You May Have an Approval Addiction:

People-Pleasing: You often prioritize others' needs and desires over your own, even at the expense of your well-being.

Fear of Rejection: The thought of being rejected or criticized terrifies you, making you avoid risks or confrontations.

Self-Worth Tied to Validation: Your self-worth hinges on external validation, leading to emotional highs and lows based on others' opinions.

Difficulty Saying No: You struggle to set boundaries and often say yes to commitments you'd rather decline.

Constant Comparison: You frequently compare yourself to others and measure your success based on their achievements.

Inconsistent Self-Identity: Your beliefs and values shift depending on the company you keep, as you seek approval from those around you.

Breaking Free from Approval Addiction:

Recognizing an approval addiction is the first step toward reclaiming your authentic self and regaining control of your life. Here are some strategies to help you break free:

Self-Reflection: Take time to explore your values, desires, and goals. Understand what truly matters to you beyond external validation.

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships.

Embrace Imperfection: Accept that nobody is perfect, and mistakes are a part of growth. Embrace your imperfections and use them as opportunities for learning.

Seek Intrinsic Motivation: Find your inner drive and motivation by focusing on your passions and personal goals rather than external praise.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.

Reduce Social Media Use: Limit your exposure to platforms that encourage constant comparison and validation-seeking behavior.

Therapy or Support: Consider seeking professional help or joining support groups to work through approval addiction and build healthier self-esteem.

Remember, seeking validation is a natural human desire, but it should complement your self-confidence, not replace it. By breaking free from the shackles of approval addiction, you can rediscover your true self and live a more fulfilling, authentic life. Your journey to self-acceptance starts with the realization that you are already okay, just as you are.

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Next week we tackle why you actually care so much!