I am looking for advice and ratings for the most accurate, most meaningful and best translation of the song from Croatian to US-English, which will become the official translation.
I would be grateful for comments, even if it is just a comment, "This is the best version for me" or "This one is not good because it is not written in proper US-English".
Thank you all.
Here is the table of contents, or rather the list and description of the translations.
VERSIONS (Hvala ti mama - Thank you, Mom)
- Original Croatian Lyrics
- Closest possible direct translation of the poem (without rhyme)
- Closest possible direct translation of the poem (with rhyme)
- Attempt at a slightly freer translation (with rhyme)
- Slightly more creative and freer translation (with rhyme)
- Completely free translation (with rhyme)
- 1. Original Croatian Lyrics
Hvala ti mama
Još jednom, hvala ti, mama.
Sad mi je lakše;
sad znam da možeš bez mene
i da nećeš biti sama.
Hvala ti, mama.
Sad znam da si to odabrala sama.
Hvala ti što si stvorila idealan lik,
no nisam znao da on,
na kraju priče,
biva izdajnik.
Hvala ti, mama, za sve među nama.
Budućnosti, nažalost, nema;
preduboka tama
među nama,
mama.
To si izabrala sama,
mama.
Hvala, ipak sam skoro
dvadeset i šest godina
bio budala,
i dvadeset i šest godina
vjerovao u tebe.
I zbog toga se sad
osjećam budala,
i zbog toga ti hvala.
- 2. Closest possible direct translation of the poem (without rhyme)
Thank you, Mom
Once again, thank you, Mom.
Now I feel a relief;
now I know you can be without me,
And that you wouldn’t be alone.
Thank you, Mom,
now I know, you chose it your own.
Thank you what you creaeted a ideal character,
but I didn’t know that,
At the end of the story,
he become a traitor.
Thank you, Mom, for everything between us.
Sadly, there is no future,
too deep darkness
between us
mom.
You chose it your own,
mom.
Thank you, however, almost
twenty-six years,
I have been a fool
and twenty-six years,
I believed in you.
Which is why now,
I feel like a fool,
and thank you for that.
- 3. Closest possible direct translation of the poem (with rhyme)
Thank you, Mom
Once again, thanks, you Mom,
now I feel a relief;
I know you’ll be just fine on your own,
and find a sense of peace.
Thank you, Mom,
now I know, you chose it your own.
Thank you for what you created, a character so grand,
But I didn’t see that,
At the end of the story,
He betrayed in the end, just like a rat.
Thank you, Mom, for everything between us.
Sadly, there is no future,
too deep darkness without thrust,
leaving us in rust,
Mom.
You chose it your own,
mom.
Thank you, however, almost
twenty-six years,
I’ve been a fool,
Facing all my fears.
and twenty-six years,
I believed in you.
Which is why now,
I feel like a fool,
and thank you for that—
you played me for a tool.
- 4. Attempt at a slightly freer translation (with rhyme)
Thank you, Mom
Once again, thank you, Mom,
Now I find relief;
You’ll be just fine alone,
You’ve got your own belief.
Thank you, Mom, it’s clear to see,
You chose this path, it’s meant to be.
Thank you for the perfect tale,
But I couldn’t know,
At the story's end, I’d find,
The truth would cut so low.
Thank you, Mom, for all we’ve shared,
But sadly, the future feels so bare.
In the shadows, lost and cold,
Our bond feels like it’s growing old.
You chose this path, it’s true,
Mom, I hope you see it too.
Thank you, though, for twenty-six years,
I’ve danced like a fool,
For every dream I placed in you,
Now feels like it’s cruel.
Thank you, Mom, for what you gave,
But now I stand alone and brave.
I gave my heart; I played the part,
And now I see the truth, it’s hard.
- 5. Slightly more creative and freer translation (with rhyme)
Thank you, Mom
Once again, thank you, Mom,
Now I feel some calm.
I know you can go on your own,
And you won't be alone.
Thank you, Mom, it’s plain to see,
You made this choice so freely.
Thank you for the perfect part,
But I didn't know he'd break my heart.
At the end of the tale we read,
He turns out to be the one who'll mislead.
Thank you, Mom, for all we've shared,
But sadly, the future feels impaired.
There’s a darkness we can't ignore,
Between us, Mom, it feels like a war.
You chose this path all on your own,
Mom.
Thank you, though I’ve been a fool
For twenty-six years, I played by your rule.
Believing in you, I took my stand,
And now I feel foolish, it's hard to understand.
And for that, I thank you, it’s true,
Though now I see it, it hurts, but it’s through.
- 6. Completely free translation (with rhyme)
Thank you, Mom
Once more, I say thanks, dear Mom,
Now the weight feels less profound.
I see you’re strong, you’ll carry on,
And you won’t break, you won’t back down.
Thank you, Mom, for your own design,
You chose this path, it’s truly fine.
You built the dream, a flawless scene,
But I didn’t know he’d be so mean,
In the end, the plot unfolds,
A twist of fate that leaves me cold.
Thank you, Mom, for all we’ve shared,
But the future feels a bit impaired.
A shadow looms, a heavy sigh,
Between us now, it’s hard to fly.
This was your choice, you paved the way,
Mom, it’s your life, you’re here to stay.
Thank you, though I’ve been a fool,
Believing in you, I played your rule.
For twenty-six years, I’ve held on tight,
And now I see, it just doesn’t feel right.
For that realization, I’ll take my stand,
I thank you, Mom, I hope you understand.
Song Description: (Scroll down for Voting)
This is a poem about family relationships.
In this story, whether by chance or not, there is a son and a mother.
The strained and unresolved dynamics between them impact the future. Each of them continues on their own path after 26 years.
After 26 years, the son realizes that everything—or nearly everything—was a lie, feeling disappointed and angry at himself for taking so long to write a poem.
He understands that things are not as they seemed, and that in one way or another, his mother used him for her own needs and goals, and that he was never as important to her as she was to him.
He realizes that his mother can move on without him, and that she no longer needs him.
Although she does not admit that she chose this path herself, he somewhat satirically and sarcastically thanks her for 26 years of deception.
He acknowledges that their relationship has changed and that there is no longer a future in it.
He feels angry with himself for living a lie for 26 years, caught up in his own imagination and an illusory world regarding his biological mother, believing in all her words, and perhaps even more than that.
Now, he feels foolish, uncertain whether to be angry at her or at himself for taking so long to see and accept the truth.
Yet, he is grateful to her because now he at least knows where he stands and no longer lives in a lie.
Family relationships are rarely ideal; quite the opposite, but this topic, like many others, is seldom discussed and is hidden from the truth and from people.
However, poor family relationships are quite common, natural, and normal occurrences—and people have turned this topic into a taboo, something that remains unspoken and silenced.
I believe that it shouldn’t be this way and that it’s not right to live in a lie. But it is what it is. We have learned to live in lies and to navigate many other topics as well.
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