If you had told be at the beginning of April that I would be lip-syncing on TikTok, I'd have given you one of my life-long, raised eyebrow, sceptical stares and laughed at the idea - maybe even cringed at the thought; and yet, here I am.
I've not only joined TikTok, I am - shockingly - creating for it and I having fun with it.
Having fun and not worrying about what, or how, to post to tell more people about my cozy-mystery series world, character, plans has been a refreshing change.
A change is as good as a rest? Well, so is an actual rest
What prompted this change from sceptic to participant in a few weeks? It was having the opportunity to have a rest - to have some respite time with a few days of solitude over the school holidays.
I enjoyed an 'at home' retreat where I had grand plans of completing my edits and rewrites and doing all of the work that my overwhelmed mum brain was finding difficult to organise and prioritise.
Of course, I quickly realised that I was in fact, so crisply burnt out, that the best thing I could do for myself - for my family - for my writing - was to rest.
Creative rest for the burned out mum
The first thing on my list of 'rest' was to eliminate decisions about meals and cooking as far as possible; that meant a glorious few days of 'girl dinners' eaten at no particular time, or order - simply responding to my cues and preferences. No negotiating what dinner/s to buy, make, eat. Bliss.
Next, was reading - and reading in my genre; cozy-ish mysteries written by fellow indies on my Kindle.
I also spent a lot of time journalling - scrap booking really; adding little scraps here and there; pictures, song lyrics, ideas, snippets of dialogue or scene connections; thoughts; monitoring pain and tiredness.
Finally, I began the long overdue reckoning required with managing my chronic illnesses linked to my endometriosis. I started to take the sleep medication I had been afraid of, and to fully confront how I might better manage the inflammation that causes daily, constant pain and fatigue; yep; what I eat, drink, do.
I'm now week 2 into trying to eliminate gluten and diary as much as I can - and I do feel a little less inflamed. This study is an interesting read. I'm no believer in 'you can eat yourself well' entirely - but if this helps, then I'm going to give it (another) (more committed) go! Giving up coffee, is proving more difficult.
Re-energised? A work in progress
I am also happy to report that I did being editing and rewrites on my book and have had a week of good progress; finding that elusive writing routine, daily rhythm I've been seeking.
Like the first book; this process is still 'a work in progress', but I am so pleased that when I was given the chance to rest, I took it.
I took the chance to turn down the volume on everyone else's needs and focus on my ambitions - and how these are also a crucial part of my role as a mum; I want my kids to see me as a positive role model; to know that they too can do difficult work in tricky times - although I hope they will not have to.
I'm glad I took this newfound energy and ambition and took the risk to front it out and dive into the world of Tiktok (albeit the safer space of over40 booktok!) - it's fun and I've been missing this playfulness for a long time.
There are of course, many negatives of the social media space and Tiktok, but I'm trying to focus on the good connections it can also bring; especially for a mid-life, ill, mum who is embarking on an indie author career. It seems there are quite a few of us out there and I'm delighted to be finding ways to connect.
More of the same for May
As we head into May, I'm focusing on keeping this playful energy and my daily writing habit (a short sprint session or two is proving very productive for me and my pace) and giving myself the challenge of creating something to attract my future readers as many days as I can.
I'm aiming to have the edits and rewrites of 'Bluebell Murder' completed and ready to have a 'send to my Kindle' read-through - I love this moment when the manuscript begins to look like a real book. Even if there will still be a way to go before publication in August.
Most importantly, I feel this rest did bring a change; it restored my hopefulness. I'm looking forward with optimism, not fear and that feels pretty peaceful.
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