Happy June Lovelies!
I'm writing this blog post - off the cuff - after a long journalling session.
I always try to take stock of where I'm spending my energy and time at the mid-point of the year; reflecting on whether I'm actually using it best - whether I am in fact focused on my main ambitions.
I do this because I still have a tendency to try to defy my chronically ill body and the way it interupts any play.
I do this because I am also a magpie when it comes to new knowledge, forms of connection - and more mundane but essential questions about how am I going to earn some income!
Have I focused on my main ambition? Publishing my first cozy mystery in August
I'm pleased that the numbers - words, writing sessions, chapters, edits - show that I have been working hard on establishing a routine that allows me to have some form of consistent progress with my writing. Most days, this is a minimum of 10 minutes with my manuscript after the school run. At least that way, I keep 'in' the draft I'm working on and I make some progress; chipping away steadily. If a pain or fatigue flare fits, or the kids need me, then I can feel ok - there has been time spent with my book.
Have I strayed off task? What about all this larking about on TikTok...
This year, I finally decided to try out TikTok - for indie authors, it feels like one of the best spaces to connect and find readers for our work.
I've been surprised at how much I have enjoyed playing on the space and have been inclined to spend more time there than on Instagram - which is quite shocking to me as Instagram has been the only social media platform that I've stuck consistently with over the past decade or so!
I also feel that TikTok connections have made my book feel more real; my ambitions seem perfectly reasonable; my motivation peaked. So I'll continue with this for now (and Instagram too).
Where I did let my focus slip...
The perennial question/guilt/terror of income reared its head this year as it always does. If you are chronically ill and had to leave your career and income, then you will know this. If your condition is also dynamic and unpredictable - and progressive and incurable - then you know this endless attempts to find missing jigsaw pieces and reshuffle them.
I started reselling on Vinted again - this is a side hustle I've used at various points in the past - it is something I enjoy (clothes and saving things from landfill); but it is always a side hustle I need to tread carefully with; I can become over whelmed with the 'stock' easily (especially when I've learned that I really need a clutter free environment); and I can fall into bad habits of 'spending more' on stock that I make back.
So, my journaling has allowed me to refocus - to place my energies and time on my cozy mysteries and trying to meet my August pre-order deadline. And letting Vinted tick along in an ad hoc way.
This doesn't resolve the income fear in the short term, but I have to hope that publishing my book will eventually resolve some of this. Being very real; even one sale is going to put me forward at this point!
Momento Mori Mood
I'll end this off the cuff post with a nod to the title.
I chose this phrase at the beginning of 2025 - not to be morbid, but to remind myself that however my illness shapes my life at this point - this is still my life and I have one shot at going for something I truely desire.
I want to write, publish, share, celebrate the kinds of stories I love to read.
And I want to make an income from my writing and not feel some odd guilt that this is not allowed.
I'll sign off this blog for now as I hunker down into 'deadline' mode - I'll be back at some point later this year!
- If you want to keep up with my daily snapshots of indie author/mum/illness life - then do follow me on Instagram and/or Tiktok.
- Both accounts are @vikkijonesauthor
V x
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