I was in a relationship that quickly escalated into marriage. We got married just 22 days after meeting—a whirlwind that seemed romantic at the time but was actually a sign of something much more harmful: love bombing. This is a common tactic in abusive relationships, where the abuser makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the world to gain control. I found myself committed to a marriage, especially given my religious background, where divorce is forbidden except for certain circumstances.

Within the first two weeks, the cracks began to show. It was subtle at first, small inconsistencies in behavior, but they pointed to something darker. He said all the right things initially, which made me feel like I could trust him completely. I was vulnerable at the time, moving through a period of personal transition without a strong support network. I was away from friends, starting a new job, and he seemed to provide the emotional connection I was craving.

But things shifted quickly. By week two, I noticed his behavior changing, and I felt uneasy. I started documenting everything, just in case things took a turn. There were so many red flags in hindsight. But I was raised to believe that when you make a commitment, you follow through. I felt like I couldn’t back out, that I had to see it through. This mindset almost ruined my life.

The truth is, setting boundaries is not just important—it’s vital. You have to protect yourself and realize that no one, not even those closest to you, should have the power to make you feel worthless.

Over the next 10 years, the emotional abuse escalated. There were moments when he grabbed me or made threatening gestures, but most of the abuse was psychological. Condescending comments, constant criticism, isolation from friends and family—he took away my autonomy bit by bit. On the outside, he seemed like the perfect husband, always cooking and cleaning, but behind closed doors, I was living in constant fear and uncertainty. I had no real community, no one nearby to support me. He controlled every aspect of my life, even how I interacted with my own dogs.

It wasn’t until 8 years into the marriage that things began to change drastically for me. My health started to deteriorate—mentally, emotionally, and physically. I thought I had suffered a stroke or was facing early-onset dementia, but it was the trauma from my marriage. The stress crippled me, and I became unable to function normally.

It took one courageous person to speak up and validate my experience for me to truly begin the journey toward healing. After years of emotional manipulation, I finally found the strength to leave, though it wasn’t easy. My community struggled to understand how someone so “perfect” could be abusive, and I faced a lot of judgment. But I realized that the image I had been projecting—the perfect marriage—was part of the problem. I had to let go of the hope that things would change and accept the reality of my situation.

I left for good because I knew I had to protect myself.I was able to say with full confidence that God has called me to peace. I felt whole. I could think clearly, work efficiently, and function like a 'normal' person again. It was a long road, but I’m here, stronger and more empowered than ever.

If you’re reading this and going through something similar, know that you are not alone. Healing is possible, and you are worthy of love, respect, and peace. Let’s go on this journey together.