Ozempic H*es: I Let My Ex Hit One More Time So He’d Pay For My Ozempic Now I’m Pregnant And He’s Engaged

AMY

I just needed the $300. That’s it. One more night, one more nut, and I could afford my next dose of Ozempic so I could stop hating my reflection.

So I let my ex hit. Raw. Again.

Now I’m pregnant.

And he’s engaged.

To some green juice, Pilates-ass bitch with a Pinterest wedding and veneers she probably financed.

I ain’t tryna be the side chick crying in silence. I’m the problem he can’t delete. The one with his baby stretching my belly and my petty locked and loaded.

You think I’m the one who lost? Watch me glow the fuck up with a stroller and a middle finger.

TYLER

I was supposed to be the clean-cut man with a ring and a five-year plan. Danielle looked perfect next to me. But Amy?

Amy felt perfect underneath me.

Her mouth never shut up. Her body never forgot me. She let me in then kept the receipt.

Now she’s pregnant. With mine.

And my fiancée left with her oat milk and her AirPods.

So I’m here. Back where I said I wouldn’t be.

But Amy ain’t the same girl I used to sneak around with.

She’s louder. Meaner. Sexier. Pregnant and unbothered.

And I’m tryna earn my way back into her sheets and that delivery room.

If she lets me in again… I’m never pulling out.

This ain’t your mama’s romance.

It’s slutty. It's sad. It's scandalous as hell.

Ozempic? Check. Side hoes? Check. Baby daddies who fumble then fix it? Triple check.

You want messy?

This one’s leaking. 😏💅🏾