CAPRICORN DAYDREAMING

The main story of the project follows Bird Boy and his relationship with Capricorn, who leaves Bird Boy for the female Taurus, allowing her to invade Bird Boy’s home. Heavy trigger warnings for sexual assault, self harm, suicide, homophobia, transphobia.

As a trans person, getting into a relationship is hard enough with the barriers of gender. When you think you’ve finally found the right person, it can really feel good, but when you look deeper and see they’re only in it because of your biology, it can be a bit hard to move past that. When in this relationship, my gender expression was constantly something I battled with. I couldn’t be too masculine without causing issues for my partner, I couldn’t be too feminine either without causing issues for myself, and looking in-between was just a danger due to the city we lived in. I felt like I had no options to live comfortably. This partner was reluctant to be seen as queer in any respect, and it was damaging to me as a person so openly queer. I had to hide myself for his comfort. He didn’t want to be in a queer relationship, and it was clear to me he saw me as something confusing for his own labels, which in turn, made me feel guilty and bad for being confusing. I had no idea how deeply internalized his homophobia was until it was too late and I was too far in, begging for him back each time he left because he “wasn’t sure” he was into me. My whole perception of self got twisted and gutted into something confusing, because that’s what he projected onto me. I never want this for another trans person. This project is coming out to give voice to trans people who have been forced into boxes by partners, or forced to feel outside of the box by partners, who obviously aren’t queer, just using trans peoples body’s for character development. 

My main message with this project is, don’t fall in love with a straight person who doesn’t know themselves yet, when you know yourself already. It’s damaging, and it will make you feel worse in the long run when it doesn’t work out because they, surprise, are straight. You deserve compassion, and genuine love without questioning behind it. 

Trans people deserve to be loved as trans people, not question marks for character development.