Monkeys (Short Story)
TITLE: Monkeys (Short Story). Stupid Short Stories #2.
THEME: MONKEYS! MORE MONKEYS! EVEN MORE MONKEYS!
TEASER:
Hong: “MY WHAT NOW!!?”
Me: “You were saying?”
Hong: “Oh, guess what I saw when I entered my room last night?”
Me: “Your roommate f*cking your other roommate.”
Hong: “NO.”
Me: “Your roommate j*rking off with the m*st*rb*t*ng sleeve he illegally smuggled into the boy’s dorm.”
Hong: “What!? NO! How’d you even know about that!!?”
Me: “Your roommate watching cheap p*rn on his laptop with his hands in his pants.”
Hong: “YES! I mean- NO! I mean- THAT’S NOT EVEN THE POINT HERE!”
Me: “Then what is?”
Hong: “Monkey! A dead monkey.”
Me: (…)
Hong: (…)
Me: “YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOUR S*X**LLY SORRY EXCUSE FOR A ROOMMATE F*CK*D A MONKEY TO DEATH AND AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH TO SATISFY HIS SH*TTY *SS HE EVEN HAD TO CONTINUE THE DEED WITH CHEAP P*RN!!?”
Hong: “F*CK. NO.”
Me: “So he was just touching himself with a dead monkey in the room?”
Hong: “Yes. No. Wait. Are you sure you’re writing a story about your life experiences with monkeys and not my roommate’s lack of experience with s*x?”
Me: (GASP) “Gosh, you’re right! I just thought it’d be funny for my readers.”
Hong: “YOUR WHAT NOW!!?”