Culturally Clueless

I thought a dozen red roses was about the safest romantic gesture an American guy could make.

Thirty seconds later, my girlfriend and her mother were looking at me like someone had died.

That’s the problem with taking American “normal” abroad. You usually don’t know you’ve done anything strange until everybody else does.

Culturally Clueless is 10 fast, funny stories about Americans running headfirst into cultural rules nobody bothered to tell them existed.

I try being the little helper at dinner and somehow insult the woman who cooked for me.

I spend days trying to figure out how strangers know I’m American before I even open my mouth.

I try defending American tipping to a European and slowly realize I’m making his argument for him.

Then my improving Russian gets me into some serious trouble:

“There I was at his mother’s dinner table announcing that I’d just had an orgasm, then patting my stomach and rolling my eyes back in a look of exaggerated satisfaction. Twice. Actually, three times.”

Nobody in these stories thinks they’re doing anything ridiculous.

That’s usually the problem.

Everything makes perfect sense right up until someone stares at you, starts laughing, or explains the rule you somehow missed.

Ten culture traps!

Plenty of chances to recognize yourself and think, “Oh God. That’s me!”

Get Culturally Clueless now, before your next trip abroad trips you up.