Self-Determination for kids: A Parent's Guide to Building Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness in Neurodivergent Young Children

A Parent's Guide to Building Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness in Neurodivergent Young Children

Self-Determination Theory (SDT) says humans thrive when three core needs are met: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness.

These needs are universal, but for neurodivergent kids (autistic, ADHD, sensory-sensitive, or otherwise wired differently), the path to meeting them often looks different from neurotypical norms. A "stubborn" refusal might be an autonomy need. A meltdown after a full day of masking might be an unmet relatedness need. This guide reframes everyday parenting moments through this lens.

This is a free, printable guide, meant as a starting framework, not a clinical tool. For individualized support, an occupational therapist, developmental pediatrician, or neurodivergent-affirming therapist can help tailor strategies to your specific child.