You Did Not Go Backward

You forgave him. You meant it.

And then something — an illness, a funeral, your own child reaching the age you were — brought all of it back. And you concluded you had failed at something.

You did not.

Every book on forgiveness assumes it is something you complete. Decide, release, be free. So the woman whose grief returns at forty concludes she must not have done it properly the first time.

This book makes a different argument: you cannot forgive what you cannot yet see.

A child whose parents divorced at eight understands one thing about it. At sixteen she understands another, because sixteen knows what a choice is. At thirty, holding her own child, she can finally see what it costs an adult to walk away from someone that small.

She is not forgiving the same thing four times. She is seeing four different things — and each one has to be met.

What's inside

Nine chapters on what forgiveness actually looks like in a body over a lifetime. Why it returns. Why that is not failure. What your body kept when your will let go. And why forgiveness was never the same thing as access.

Who it's for

The woman who has been told she is bitter by people who have never once said out loud what happened to her.

What you get

Instant download — 142 pages. EPUB for e-readers and phones, PDF for reading on a computer or printing. Yours to keep. No subscription, no app required.

About the author

Kristi Estrada, LPC-S, NCC, ACS, SEP, is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, and the creator of Trauma Restorative Care™. She leads a group trauma practice in Phoenix, Arizona. She grew up in foster care and emancipated out of the system, and writes about the long road afterward.

Book One of The Becoming Series.