Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

The feeling arrives before the decision and, left alone, makes it. Seven decisions on the gap between the surge and the response.

Emotional intelligence gets sold as being nice; it is closer to the opposite of reacting. The skill is a gap — catching what you feel and what set it off before it picks your words, and reading what the other person is feeling before you decide what they meant by it.

You run a week of moments that pull hard: the accusation, the quiet colleague, the call you want to make while the surge is still up. Seven times you choose whether to answer the situation or the feeling.

You will practice:

• Catching what you're feeling in the moment, and what set it off, before it decides what you do
• Putting a gap between the feeling and the response, so you answer the situation, not the surge
• Reading what someone else is feeling from face, voice and body, before you decide what they meant
• Using what you read to steady the moment — naming the feeling, holding the conflict, keeping the relationship