The Awakening Based on a real story written by Rebel Renee

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When I was eight years old my mother sat me in front of the TV and put on a movie. I was a big Jim Henson fan when I was little. I mean who doesn’t love The Muppets right? The movie that my mother put on was called Labyrinth. That’s where I met David Bowie. But I didn’t know that was his name. All I knew was the goblin king. There’s a scene in that movie where there was a masquerade scene. At the beginning of that scene they zoomed in on the goblin King’s eyes and that’s where we met. They say that’s instant attraction almost like soulmates. But this wasn’t that situation because he wasn’t my soulmate he was just a guy on TV that I really liked. I felt a connection immediately but I didn’t know why. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s until I realized the connection. I remembered after watching that movie I had a vivid colorful dream and he was in it. In the dream he said “I found my queen.” And then I replied “I found my king.” Then I heard him say “Can we be heroes just for one day?” I was only eight years old and this was my first interaction with David Bowie. I had no clue what that meant I was only eight years old. This was back in 1991. That was back in the day when MTV actually played music videos instead of pregnant teenagers and reality TV. I would have my babysitters over during the summertime and we would watch MTV all day. I heard something that was very familiar coming from the TV. I heard “ We can be heroes just for one day.” I looked at my babysitter and asked her who that was. She said that it was David Bowie. She saw that we had the movie labyrinth and she pointed at it and told me that that was him. A few months later my stepmother decided to introduce me to Freddie Mercury. She had all the albums of Queen. And I immediately fell in love with Freddie. I was fascinated with all the music videos he was in and how he was as a person. When he was diagnosed with AIDS he cut his hair and grew a mustache. It was a custom for him to have long hair and clean shaven. My stepmother came in and she looked very confused because I looked very confused too. I asked her “Who was that?” She told me that it was Freddie. I should've known that. I told her I didn’t recognize him and she said that there’s nothing wrong with a man to get a haircut and grow a mustache. But that moment I knew something wasn’t right. The vibe to me felt very different because he was acting differently on stage. When the HIV was switching to AIDS something happened that I noticed. I was introduced to his final music video which was Days of our lives. Freddie looks like a walking skeleton. And he looked older than he was. I asked my stepmother if he was all right because he looks sick. She told me that he was just getting older and that nothing was wrong. A few weeks later my stepmother had to break the news to me that Freddie Mercury passed away of AIDS. I didn’t know what it was but I was mad because it took my Freddie away. A few months later they made an announcement that they were going to do a tribute concert for Freddie. My stepmother told me that she was going Record it for me so I could watch it because I wanted to see it. When it was available my stepmom surprised me before the concert. VH1 was having all of Queen's music videos up for the entire time before the concert started. So I got to watch all of Queen's music videos and then the concert. This was considered a six hour babysitter because I watched the whole thing. There was a performance that really caught my attention. It was a performance with Annie and David Bowie singing under pressure. When I first saw David Bowie on screen I felt a feeling above my heart and a special connection. When I watched that scene from Labyrinth I was eating a cookie and I froze. It was like I was spellbound with the goblin king. The cookie was on my lip and it didn’t move until that scene was over. I felt the same feeling when I saw David Bowie on screen but I didn’t recognize him for a minute. I asked my stepmother who it was and she replied that it was David Bowie. 

I asked my stepmother “Who is he and what does he do? She told me that he loved reading books and he was interested in art and music. Once I found out something magical happened to me. I started wanting to read as many books as I possibly could and my favorite book series was The Baby Sitters Club.

And I also was interested in coloring art and painting. At the age of 11 is when I started to be interested in music. I grew up listening to my parents' music which was Oldies & classic rock Music which wasn't bad at all. At the age of 12 I was leaving school and going onto the bus and I saw a kid on the bus wearing a T-shirt. It caught my attention because of the eyes on his shirt. It gave me that special feeling that I had with David Bowie. But it wasn’t David Bowie. I asked the kid who was on his shirt and he told me that it was Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson has two different colored eyes and he was wearing special make up with a swish on it similar to labyrinth with David Bowie. I didn’t know who Marilyn Manson was but the kid told me to go over to his house and he would introduce me to him with his music. So I went over to his house and we listened to Anti Christ Superstar, which is one of Marilyn Manson‘s albums. I absolutely loved it and felt for the music even though I was only 12 years old. I didn't understand the music but I enjoyed the beat of the songs and I was trying to understand the lyrics but I was only 12. When my parents found out about my new interest in Marilyn Manson their attitudes changed against me and so did mine. I feel everybody goes through a phase where you’re going to be a little rebel or a little shit. We all have to go through a dark time to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My mother did not enjoy my attitude change and she blamed it all on Marilyn Manson. It wasn’t until I read Marilyn Manson‘s book that I realized David Bowie and Marilyn Manson have a lot in common. They both sing about the darkness of life, they’re both interested in art and writing and are very creative, they’re both born in January and they both had a special connection with Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails. The difference between David Bowie and Marilyn Manson is David Bowie didn’t dress like he was going to a funeral. But both their music was very dark. But it wasn’t until I was in my 30s until I figured out why I was so connected to David Bowie. But I wasn’t an active fan of David Bowie when I was a kid. I knew he existed but I didn’t have posters on my wall or have a shirt with his name on it or even own an album. I didn’t go through that phase until I was in my 30s.

I was two years into listening to Marilyn Manson when I met my best friend. She was wearing a T-shirt and I was over at another friends house and we were both wearing Marilyn Manson T-shirts and my best friend was wearing another shirt but it was completely the opposite of what we were wearing. She was wearing an *NSYNC T-shirt. I looked at her and asked her “Who is on your shirt?” And she told me that it was *NSYNC and that if I wanted to learn about them I would have to go over to her house. So I did and instantly my life changed. My parents came around and they were happy and very supportive my father even purchased concert tickets to go see *NSYNC and we were eight rows from the stage. It was nice to have my family back in order.

I moved cross country in 2001 with my mom because we needed to change our life and I had to reboot my life and start over from scratch. I also needed to finish high school. I had two more years left of school and I worked extra hard those two years. At the end of my 11th grade I met someone who really changed my life and we bonded. We did fall in love with each other and we hung out constantly. He was younger than me by two years but it was OK. It wasn’t until I investigated David Bowie to the fullest when I was in my 30s on how similar this guy was to David Bowie. He had the same haircut as David Bowie did when he was on the reality tour which was blonde hair and mushroom cut. He had a smile very similar to David Bowies as well. And I also discovered that he was bisexual too. And so was David Bowie. We lasted about a year and then I graduated high school. We were together for a month and only for one month after that because we had a special gift that my father purchased for me for graduating high school. I could’ve gone to Hawaii, I could've gone anywhere as a gift. But I asked for two tickets to Ozzfest 2003. Because I was 18 years old and my former relationship and I started to listen to Marilyn Manson again. And we got to see Marilyn Manson for the first time. We had nosebleed section seats but it was still amazing to see him. I moved back to live with my mom and I started my life. I worked at temp Agency and amazon.com. In November 2004 something scary happened to me. I woke up with extreme vertigo where I couldn’t walk and I was dizzy. I was scared because I didn’t know what was happening. I was dizzy for about three weeks and I had to take time off of work. From November 2004 until May 2005 I was in and out of the hospital with problems and issues that came up. In April 2005 my feet went numb and then it went up to my knees and then I couldn’t feel from my waist down. My mother took me to the hospital but before we left we went onto the Internet to look up my symptoms. The first thing that popped up was multiple sclerosis. I was scared because I thought it was muscular dystrophy which is a death sentence. My mother told me it wasn’t because Montel Williams has it so I felt a little bit better. We went to the hospital and they gave me an MRI and we told them what we thought it might be. When they came in with the results they said that we can’t say that it is multiple sclerosis but we do have an appointment ready for you tomorrow morning to see the neurologist. I went and saw the neurologist first thing in the morning with my mother and he stated it looks like it could be multiple sclerosis but to be sure of it to confirm it you need to go through a spinal tap. The doctor informed me that I could possibly get a headache as a side effect to this. He told me if it happens to take a very strong cup of coffee and to lay down. I went through the spinal tap which was extremely painful and then we left after about two hours of being there. My mother asked me if I was hungry and we went out for lunch. As we were waiting for the food to arrive I started to feel that massive headache coming on. This headache was so intense I had to lay down in the booth. By the time the food got there I was in so much pain we had to leave. My mother stopped at Starbucks and got me a quadruple shot espresso. It didn’t take the headache away but I swear I lost my ability to blink for about eight hours. I was only 20 at the time. A few weeks later I went on vacation to go visit my father cross country. I went to New York City as well. I only had 24 hours in New York City and I hit everything I possibly could in 24 hours. I even met the naked cowboy and touched his butt. He told me to do it so I did. It was amazing to be in New York City because it had been a few years since 911 and I got to see the memorial that they had in the rebuilding of the area. It was definitely moving and you could see the buildings around that were affected as well. I flew back cross country and as we were heading home from the airport my right eye started to act funny. Kind of like when you rub your eyes and you see those white stars but it was happening when I was blinking. I almost went blind in my right eye. My mother told me to call the doctor in the morning and I did and he also had the results of my spinal tap. He told me that it was confirmed that I do have multiple sclerosis and that he wanted me to go on a five day treatment of steroids. That was not pleasant at all but it did help with the eye situation. 

When I was younger I had I problems with my tear ducts they would always get clogged. I had surgery on it several times. When I was in the first grade my mother bought me a book and I brought it to school to go read outside during recess. My best friend at the time saw the book that I had and she wanted to take it from me. I told her she couldn’t have it because I wanted to read it and because I said no to her she had a lead pencil in her hand and almost stabbed my eye with the lead pencil and it hit very close to my left eye. It wasn’t until I investigated David Bowie’s life that David also had a situation where he had his left eye being affected at school and got punched in the eye over a girl mine was over a book. But I also had two other times where my left eye was affected. My mother was clipping my fingernails and a piece of fingernail landed in my left eye and my brother sprayed Windex in my left eye. Those two experiences were not fun at all. 

In 2012 my life changed to the core. From 2012 to December 2015 I became severely depressed and full of anxiety and I had an addiction to prescription painkillers. I had a throbbing sensation on my arm and then I took a Vicodin and I was hooked. It went from one Vicodin to 14 Percocet 10’s daily. 

My mother saw from 2014 to 2015 that there was a severe problem when we were at a convention for the TV show supernatural. 

My mother knew I had my prescription with me and I went through 25 pills in three days.

I didn’t know what my problem was and she didn’t know either. But in January 2016 five days after David Bowie’s death I discovered my problem. I was being Taken advantage of by a narcissist. But how narcissists work is a creep up in your life when you least expect it. They promise you the world and then slowly they take it all back. They promise to be there for you through thick and thin and then leave you high and dry and drowning in debt.

After David Bowie’s death I started to be very depressed because of his death and I forgot that I was a huge fan when I was a kid. Every so often a celebrity's death comes into play and changes my life and I feel their death is harder than it should be. I felt it with Jim Henson‘s passing and Freddie Mercury‘s passing and I also felt it was Paul Walker's passing too. And then it happened again with David Bowie. I started to watch everything I could with David Bowie in it. I found YouTube as a good coping mechanism. I discovered an article online that David Bowie saw Psychic in the 70s that predicted his death. It stated that he would die between 68 and 70 and he died at the age of 69. It also stated that because David Bowie knew and trusted it because he believed in spirituality he was happy to know how much time he had left. In 2012 I saw Psychic and she told me that there was going to be a David trying to find something and that when it happened I knew exactly who it was. She was right and she also told me when that happened to contact her. So I did. She told me that David Bowie was proud of me for taking the steps to change my life because I saw an interview with him about getting clean from drugs and alcohol and I did the same. I quit a seven-year drug addiction on my own with no rehab and no doctors. I discovered that I was being abused by a narcissist and I was numbing my life. And it was time to change.

She told me that I am also intuitive and that I could connect with the other side. I didn’t believe her at first but then I started to think of all the times when my intuition was right, also known as my gut instinct. I was right about Freddy that something wasn’t right and I was right about David Bowie that there was a special connection that you feel in your heart that connects us with the soul. And I was also right about more things as well. For the next six years I changed my life forever. After I got rid of the drugs I started to work on the six aspects of life. Personally physically mentally emotionally sexually and financially. I even had to tap into spirituality because spirituality taught me how to be five steps ahead. And a lot of people who knew David Bowie said he was a big fan of spirituality and always five steps ahead. I lost over 50 pounds and people started to notice the difference in me. And they wanted to know my secret. So I told a couple about it and then they started doing it and they started to lose weight too. Then someone suggested I make it a business and so I did. Because of multiple sclerosis I couldn’t work for anybody else because every time I had a job after multiple sclerosis the management saw it as an issue and problem. But they were OK with it at first and said that they would work with me but then took it back. The first seven months of my business I wanted to see how well it was working. I made $180 on my first official day. I called out a win. In August 2016 I decided to do something very crazy which was to move out of my mom’s home and to be on my own. I was 31 years old and it was time. I lived in a motel room for nine months before I got my first apartment. When I got my first apartment I was super excited because while I was in the motel room I was building my business and I was meeting new people and I was really making an impact and I started to save and to buy stuff from my apartment so when I moved I didn’t have to go and buy everything. 

It was starting over and it was a new beginning for me. For the first month I slept on the floor on an air mattress until I got my bed that was paid for by my father. I had to work my way up and I was able to get furniture from my home but I had to make payments on it. And I was close to Walmart so I was able to do my grocery shopping for myself. In May 2018 I bought a brand new car for myself. I named the car Ziggy which was a big mistake because Ziggy only came into my life for about the same amount of time that Ziggy Stardust was in existence. It was about 14 months that I had her. In January 2019 something scary happened to me. After I got sober in 2016 I was completely clean 100% minus one margarita I had for my birthday in 2016. I felt I deserved it so I had it. In January 2019 I went and saw my neurologist and I had a question for him about trying marijuana. I noticed that my anxiety and my depression were starting to skyrocket and I didn’t know why. When I asked my doctor about it I felt like he got it from school to become a doctor He said “Well we don’t know if it can actually work for people so we’re not sure it might not work for you it could work for you it’s up to you if you wanna try it.” 

With my business I look beyond what that says. Kind of like when someone says that they’re OK are they really OK or are they hiding something that they don’t want to release yet because I don’t want to interfere with the connection with someone that’s in front of them. What I got from my doctor was that he wasn’t going to get the commission from marijuana. Doctors receive a commission for some of the prescriptions that they write. So if you have 20 prescriptions your doctor gets to go to Greece on vacation. And what I felt was he wasn’t going to get the money from my medicine. But he did get something. I started using CBD THC oil and it changed my life. I haven’t gone back to him to ask him for medicine because I tried the medicine before and it didn’t work on me. It made me sicker. I’ve been using marijuana since 2019 to 2022. It has helped me with my anxiety and my depression to the core. When I have anxiety I don’t eat so it helps me get the munchies so I can eat. When my depression is through the roof it allows me to meditate and relax and to lift my spirits up. It also gives me some creativity with meditation and my dream sequences are freaking cool. Colorful and vivid and realistic dreams are amazing. 

I discovered why my depression and my anxiety was through the roof. I have an online stalker that turned into this person knowing someone in my family and attaching themselves to me because they didn’t believe in my job or myself. They first started to follow me on every social media platform that I was on, they would leave nasty reviews and comments without getting my service, they would call into the radio show that I was on on Blog Talk Radio, they sent their family after me I’ve had to block more than 100 people with the last name of the person that is stalking me. It got personal when I got my car because they started to follow me in my car to the store & local events. They found out where I lived and they would drive by my home. I had a home that I was renting from a friend. There was a fence around the home with a gate that you could lock with a master lock and key. There was a metal gate in front of the house that you could lock as well,I also had the screen door locked, the front door locked, the back door locked, the back metal gate locked and I would park in the back. And I still didn’t feel safe in my own environment. So I had to leave the town and I moved into an apartment. 

When I moved into this apartment I immediately felt unwelcome and as soon as I signed on the dotted line. I moved in in August 2019 and by October 2019 I almost was evicted but I was saved by a Good Samaritan who was one of my clients.  

From that point on I was always on edge at this apartment which wasn’t good for my anxiety and my depression. In March 2020 is when the pandemic started and that’s where my life went to shit. Because of my online stalker I had to put my business on hold back in July 2019. I also lost my car because of my anxiety and my depression because of my stalker. So I had to rely on my mother to bring me places and I did grocery shopping. I didn’t like having to do it and neither did she but we managed.

Because I was using marijuana there was a local dispensary that I was using that had delivery service and there was no minimum requirement for delivery service. But during the pandemic there was. For me my concept is less is more. My average is about $40-$60 and I can make that stretch for about six weeks. It depends upon if there’s oil or if there’s flowers or edibles. During the pandemic you had to spend $100 before taxes in order for them to deliver it to your home. So I had to buy a two month supply. I connected with some loyal clients of mine who helped me along the way when I had to shut down my business. I only allowed those that had sessions with me prior to helping me out with paying bills, eating and getting my medicine. I asked a client of mine if she could give me $150 and she can have my service for as long as she wanted. And she sent me $150 that evening. I immediately ordered my medicine and received a text that my delivery will be made in the morning and sent out. I was excited because I was out of my medicine for three weeks. I received a text from the dispensary that they had added new drivers that evening. I wasn’t concerned because I knew I was going to get my medicine in the morning. 20 minutes later there was a knock at my door. There was a man with a beard and a red shirt with a gift in his hand. At that moment I met Santa Claus. He worked at the dispensary and saved the day. I was super excited about it and I slept well that night.

When the pandemic happened I was having difficulty paying my bills and my rent and because of the eviction Memoriam that really saved me with keeping a roof over my head but the amount kept adding up each month. From July 2020 to July 2021 I could not pay my rent. I had to file for Covid relief funding and they paid for $15,000 of my rent. They also stated to me that they were paid for three months ahead which was till December 1, 2021. I was super excited about this until the following month. My rent was $1600 and it was normally $1045. I was trying to figure out why it was so high. The management at the apartment said that Covid relief could only pay everything except for $500. So I called them and they explained if I was on it for 12 months they would’ve given me the three month extension but because it was 13 months they did not give it to me. And I was facing eviction once again. I asked everyone that was around me if they could help me and they did as much as they could. I even went as far as asking a celebrity named Jim Beaver from the TV show Supernatural. I am friends with his daughter on Facebook and it was able to work for me. He sent out the memo and his fans helped me out. But I was short $800 even with the help. I had no other choice but to ask my father and that was very difficult to do. I felt bad but my dad came in and rescued me and I was very blessed that he did that because I know deep down he didn’t want to do it.

October came and it was time to pay rent again and this time I definitely couldn’t do it. And I faced eviction and had to go through with it. On November 29, 2021 I was evicted from my apartment due to Covid. I have a dog and a cat and my mom suggested that we go into a motel room. So I found a motel to stay in and it was located right behind the apartment complex that I was just evicted from. The only thing that was in between us was a fence.

For the first night that I was there I slept like a baby and I finally ate food. When I go through anxiety I have a hard time eating. I ate four bowls of soup and took a shower and went to sleep.

I moved into another motel room a week later and I asked people do you know a place where I can stay that doesn’t cost daily? I had someone respond to me as to what I was looking for and she said that I have exactly what you’re looking for. There’s a place in the next town over that has a room for rent and will take you and your animals and it’s called the second chance home. It will hook you up with an apartment and a job and the resources you need to get where you need to go on your feet. This was the miracle I was looking for or so I thought.

What happened next changed my life forever because I’m going to need therapy after what this place did for me. Discover the shocking truth as to what happened. Get the full story below but you will also discover that this experience is called an awakening. When a death or situation can wake you up and make you want to change and motivate you. The death of David Bowie motivated me to change my life to the fullest. I had to experience my own Labrinth. And they were creatures along the way and monsters too. When you go through the labyrinth you will also be seeing photos and my YouTube channel of documenting everything that has happened to me. To show proof of it all. People who have been through my labyrinth said it woke them up too.

Enjoy my story I made a story based on my experiences that I had in my life!
this is part one. Part two is coming soon!