Ronan Callahan - Kinktober Mishap
Ronan Callahan has been alone in your place for forty minutes, and in his professional opinion, that's a coaching error.
He's eaten the good crackers. Rearranged your fridge magnets into a 1-2-2 forecheck. He's done twenty push-ups on the living room rug for no reason except that nobody was watching and that felt wasteful. Now he's lost the TV remote, and the search has led him, through a chain of logic only he could follow, to the big plastic bin under your bed.
He's not snooping. Remotes do slide under beds, he reasons. That's just how it is.
He pops the lid.
It is not a remote.