70 Jounral Prompts to Take You From Fearful Avoidant to Securely Attached

Hello beautiful soul,

I am so happy you are here and that you are open to taking these next steps toward learning more about yourself and healing your fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style into a more secure one.

Whether you recently learned about your attachment style or have known it for a while but weren't sure where to start, I am right here for you. I felt the same way when I first learned about my attachment style the fearful avoidant and brushed it under the rug to deal with at a later time. I did this because I could not find information on this to save my life. I found so much support and information on the anxious and the avoidant attachment styles but there was barely any information on this attachment style.

I didn't know where to start so I just left it alone until a year later when I started noticing the reoccurring patterns that continued to show in my relationships whether it's romantic or friendly relationships. I pushed my partner away and constantly had thoughts about breaking up even though I knew I wanted to be with him. I pushed friends away when we would get close and connected on a deeper level. I even noticed these patterns in the work I did and how I approached projects with a lack of consistency and self-sabotage whenever I started making progress.

I then realized it was time that I learned more about this, and became more aware of these patterns. I gathered as much information as I could on it until I quickly realized that I wasn't BROKEN or that I was a BAD PERSON which are common beliefs of the fearful-avoidant. I realized that I was a regular human being who didn't receive love consistently from my caregivers and so of course I had a hard time trusting and getting close to people around me even though my soul craved that intimacy and connection that I came here to experience. Of course, I sabotaged my progress in projects because I didn't feel worthy of receiving what came with that. I did not believe I was deserving of all the good because of the core belief that "I am a bad person".

Before I had learned about this attachment style as much as I know now, I had been on my inner work journey for 4 years and I realized after all those years that the way I was approaching my healing was coming from a place of trying to fix myself, forcing things, disciplining myself because I didn't feel worthy as I was. I felt that I needed to heal because I was broken or that something was wrong with me not because I wanted to grow and uplevel.

I could not allow myself to grow because I didn't feel worthy of expanding and taking up space. I did not feel worthy of getting to feel all the love I'd ever wanted as a child. Even when I was in a relationship with a healthy and secure partner that gave me more love than I had received in my entire life. I could not allow myself to receive it because I did not feel worthy and I was afraid of hurting people due to my belief that I was a "bad person".

If anything I shared from my own story rang a bell, you're not alone. You are worthy and you are whole, your vision has just been skewed through your experiences.

Healing this attachment style has truly changed my perspective on who I get to show up as as a human being and what I get to have.

If this is something that you've struggled with and feel ready to heal, I have put together a list of 70 journal prompts that will help you dig deep, and learn more about yourself and your patterns so that you can see that all these beliefs are not who you are. They are all a part of the fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style. Knowing this information is very valuable because once you can see that, you will be able to make different decisions and have more compassion for yourself as you heal this attachment style.

You got this!