A&G Had a Great Fall on the Wall in China
On Sale
$9.50
$9.50
“To Visit China be prepared not to judge your stay in Days or Weeks
But in the Hospitality of that Welcome bow that leaves you in awe as China Never Sleeps”
What lovely Dragon Al said did you paint that? Gaz looks like the work of a Painter I know in Birkenhead big Phil he used to paint supertankers or warships so was a bit compromised at portrait size You know anybody that paints or a paint pot stealer more like those Dockyard Terraced or corpee houses all had the same colour doors Gaz Said “No Gaz changed colours on Rent collector days No 66 was 99 Green 66 Battleship Gray 99 the Rent man was Bolloxed had to wait another week, he had no energy to walk up and down the Long street, he had a few days as you know with some packet of three customers that was his Name "Condom Denis" or Slippery Steve depending how he introduced himself. No nothing too sinister but he had a Bagful of Cash in a Leather Satchel that he had a sideline of "money lending" the council's money to make "delinquent rent" payments for which he would collect a "fee" for lending you next door rent money! He would be one of the first to know the council were going to evict you so make sure you knew ahead of time and may even lend you the money to pay up Cheeky bastard but straight if that is the right term. What was His Name?
Do you want to know Yes William Burquet we called him Wee Willy Fucket that's true he was a Prize Fighter those days everyone takes the piss off his Name he's a dead man walking in school yards so it was Fuck or Fight Mick Murphy those rules he beat the shit out of Murphy thinking he was going to fuck him after school I loved those School days such was Liverpool Etiquette only the Elite can Imagine all the Cardinals in Jail what for a bum's rush? every school Teacher was a Thug with a Cane or Dap
Good old days to reminisce about especially Cammell Lairds you could never get anyone out of those Shipyard Toilets those Days for Fear of doing some Work, Welders had special Passes until they invented Super Glue! Security Guards Sunday night every seat covered in super glue Monday morning what a Pandemonium took twenty men to get them out and they all were in overnight strictly nothing by mouth poor Forklift Driver looking at their hairy arses lifting those Welders into the Red Cross Bus in the Liverpool Echo said the Birkenhead Dockyard was struck by the Phantom Jumbo Super glue Prankster Rendering the Day shift to finish Early 2 pm No Rods today No Kazis No Loos to play Pubs were Packed out singing If I had a Loo or pot to piss in I chose You
You look back sure hard working days but we talked look over there seven kids, not a word glued to games on their phones don't even know the names of those next-door kids The iPhone is a destroyer of society's behaviour anyway, why are you here I thought we were going to Singapore check out a new Boat going to the Show with those four new Department ROV Russian girls,
They can take care of themselves Gaz! big Al was deep in thought Good Point that Gaz it's the whip line for those Ten ROV positioners and the loos on the Boat run to take a piss grab a bite to eat take a Photo most useful time savers, You have a Great idea with those positioner lines no more crazy tangles with ROV lines again Alan Pal you deserve a break from overwork of your Brain. I think we need a Tiger Beer in Singapore
Why don't we fly down to test our Warp 7 Ranger Two seater I will Drive ok we don't want to land upside down Scouser. we have a Stand at this year's Boat Show to make an appearance and a bit of Social Gathering a few Tiger beers test and those cases Pink Champagne Rockefeller A&G High Rollers now
Gaz looked down fuck you still got your Rig boots on Al what the Fuck you're supposed to walk around in Shorts and flip flops or Turn up cowboy boots and Jockey shorts your a Muli Millionaire for fucksake can't go anywhere dressed with Rig boots not Dirty bastards get em polished,
Fuck you Gaz ok let us go stay at Raffles fuck no Orchard Towers Aussie Tony our own doss House Sportsman Bar VIP suites let's get down and dirty Weekend Party Big Man I need a new wardrobe be good to listen to what's going on in Singers water works city,
Just 15 minutes from Bangkok to Changi not bad not good but not bad time how much we selling this for A seater deluxe or VIP Model what's this one VIP 320,000 us cheap got the extra pop up de lux leather middle seat position or a Bed of Heaven to fast for Mile High Club it's used for Showing couples Rich Buyers His and Hers quick Glimpses of a 1000 Mile Radius of their homes 15 Minute Trips
it's Comfortable fully reclined Jet seats still a Jet Drone feels like a Silent sleeping Robot in one yes fully Automatic just ask it to Take off and Wham You Arrive Of Course the place must be on a Navigational Map well we might pop up to see the Lo Bo Brothers Shanghai they have the test run on Tuesday of Vacuumanator 1 we are invited means they want some more cash sounds a winner it's not the Drone Image this is spectacular So I've been Told it's a must see!
So how much do you reckon mass Production four seater 220,000 cheap Standard models the Gweilo Tornado is one Million Each sound like a Carpet Cleaner Gaz Vacumalator 1
They say it can shrink your arse, you're able to spit your balls out your mouth, you're able to have open heart surgery without anaesthetic so fast it leaves your body behind in another dimension set the Speedo to catch up or piss over yourself. That's very well explained. Al, shall I write the Service Manual in Hebrew or Scouse?
SINGAPORE their old Stomping Grounds of Hard Work as they walked into the Sportsman Bar unannounced
Big Tony How the Fuck are you he looked up from Reading the Straights Times and saw the Two A&G Im off Im off you two Fuckers are staying with me we have to Close up lock up the Bar Tie down the Chairs Good To see you too Zapper.
What brings you to pair down to Singers your Secretary called this Morning it's your fuckin place not mine I got six Chics Cleaning it up using Rentokil stores Your Suites I got the BBQ planned for Four so Filled the Pool full of Suds Ready Just for you two Dickheads Good to see you pair of lovely bastards now when am I getting the pay rise
Answer our HSE question and you get a Rise Al said what Color are your Jocks Don't wear Jocks well you don't get a pay rise Filthy Bastard scratching your balls and Serving Beer shit out of luck on that Rise Gaz said shit outta luck sunshine“Two Tigers
Make it Jugs have one yerself Zapper and Two Aussie Meat Pies each” Al said so what's going on Pal
We got those Dickhead Poms and Yanks here for the Boat Show lots of Ruskis and Cannoks Chinks and Japs Mexicans and Brazilians new breed of Spenders In here last night to see Miss Thailand and her Friends our Pals IT Indian Magicians plenty from Mumbai. must have something special at this year's Boat show that you got on your stand Katoeys or Robots.
Robbo Sub that's us this Year high-speed Tracker Mapper Minerals and Diamonds Suckers of the Deep Throat kind
Looks Good So far good Reviews fingers crossed we don't give shit already got a better thing out What That Zapper asked AL to take a look he was holding his Dick in His Hand fuck off your Scouse Knob head Gaz just said good to be back in the Land of Singers once more Let's all go to the Zoo. Play with those Urang Gatangs
Friday night the Bar was Packed with lots of Thai girlfriends playing catch up and the Oil and Gas guys fraternity popped in to meet and greet and share the Jugs of Tiger hospitality of sharing is a must in any Sports Bar Catered for all tastes and was most a reasonable honest trade of regulars Pitcher Jugs 15 Sing Dollars all day all night long with Simple Food large Pie Pasty or Pizza for twenty-five sing it was Haunt of the Job and Nightlife Male and Female seekers Starting and Finishing joint A&G had bought it just to keep Zapper alive and the Four luxury two Bedroom suites always had a Place to Disappear
Al said very deceiving yet stepped through Behind the Bar door into a corridor into Five Star Luxury it was one of those must-buy places the Pair of Pliers had to buy Joint ownership with Zapper it took a Team of Thirty staff that People rarely noticed each Suite had a Corner East West North South not cheap but income from the Bar was their outlay used to be their Local those old days of oil rig life and hard work the ins and outs leaving messages for other friends it was the Post box of ex-pats. Zapper had pigeonholes for every nationality all Free well defined slotted boxes with little flags of the country even Croatia and Russia Romania put up with Zappers Twang of Pommie and Yanks Chinks Japs Sings Nob Heads these were kind common words for friends you might be insulted if you didnt know him he called everyone a Lovely Bastard male and female same Goodnight my Lovely Bastard or Good morning My Lovely Bastard it was his way of Friendship there used to be or was a Sign above the Bar to All Cobber Bastards Pay up and Drink Piss of Fuck off give some space to lovely cash paying bastards so get off the stool that's Zapper House Rule,
Skint Guys and Ladies Have spent all day with him on a Jug of Tiger Rule one Not rule Two Days different Zapper Fuck off you lovely Bastard but that first day He would Pull up the Graveyard to try to find a solution to help you fix those no job No Money VD Aids Problems Dr Zapper
Had worked with A&G offshore Top Rig Medic and ex Armed Aussie Combat Viet Nam vet this was his life these pair of lovely A&G Bastards dragged him out from Jail and a Good Singapore Flogging that's another story so things run deep without words just sitting there on Table for Ten you forget whos Jug of Beer when there's six or seven in front of You.
Rule three dont give a Toss if your thirsty Drink what's in front of you be darn sure you had money to buy a Jug yourself or sit on those small stall stools uncomfortable as hell tight arse Bastards he had a way with words did Zapper it's hard to understand at first if your a Novice or Navy type just in looking around then some lady or guy drinks out of your Jug you hadn't read the signs and you get agitated ready to tell them fuck off it's mine until you see the full jug replaced and the clock ticks around to you turn again used to drink out of small Glasses where Ten would be the Jug so it was easy the Mathematics for Zapper he never missed a beat nor did his Staff each one watched their own assigned Table like hawks you get a nudge You Pay You Pay Your Round You Pay You stay or Go now Pay up we have customer need seat ready to pay it was real value for money when Sober god help you when your Pizza arrived No it's not all yours got two hands two slices the rest was gone Ten slices your lucky to get two, Pie or Pasty ok you could but a Packet of Crisps you ordered a Bag full they would be tipped out onto a Plate to Share you had no choice soon you got used to the Friendly Place it got used to you unable to refuse.
The Laughable Pair of Pliers A&G was invited to China to Help Improve the environment Chinese Delegation asked to speak with A&G at first said no then Gaz showed them in they sat around the round Table A&G noticed these were High Party Members and two of the older white-haired Guys seemed to know the dynamics of what they're problem was costs in high Manufacturing Base High Environmental waste and Pollution very difficult to solve because of the layout of the infrastructure not to leave a carbon footprint behind China was the Doom and Gloom of Environmentalists World Wide Press never good
They had made huge strides with their Rail networks now Obsolete with A&G warp Vipers could they Consider a Two year sabbatical to live in China and Formulate a Brain centre to Tackle every facet of current China life to the Space travel age Wow this was some ask Al looked at Gaz we be Dead with this Bridge too far on this one Kiddo but those Lives of Billions Might just say Go for it Fuck it until the Lights go out some Challenge this Pal.
But in the Hospitality of that Welcome bow that leaves you in awe as China Never Sleeps”
What lovely Dragon Al said did you paint that? Gaz looks like the work of a Painter I know in Birkenhead big Phil he used to paint supertankers or warships so was a bit compromised at portrait size You know anybody that paints or a paint pot stealer more like those Dockyard Terraced or corpee houses all had the same colour doors Gaz Said “No Gaz changed colours on Rent collector days No 66 was 99 Green 66 Battleship Gray 99 the Rent man was Bolloxed had to wait another week, he had no energy to walk up and down the Long street, he had a few days as you know with some packet of three customers that was his Name "Condom Denis" or Slippery Steve depending how he introduced himself. No nothing too sinister but he had a Bagful of Cash in a Leather Satchel that he had a sideline of "money lending" the council's money to make "delinquent rent" payments for which he would collect a "fee" for lending you next door rent money! He would be one of the first to know the council were going to evict you so make sure you knew ahead of time and may even lend you the money to pay up Cheeky bastard but straight if that is the right term. What was His Name?
Do you want to know Yes William Burquet we called him Wee Willy Fucket that's true he was a Prize Fighter those days everyone takes the piss off his Name he's a dead man walking in school yards so it was Fuck or Fight Mick Murphy those rules he beat the shit out of Murphy thinking he was going to fuck him after school I loved those School days such was Liverpool Etiquette only the Elite can Imagine all the Cardinals in Jail what for a bum's rush? every school Teacher was a Thug with a Cane or Dap
Good old days to reminisce about especially Cammell Lairds you could never get anyone out of those Shipyard Toilets those Days for Fear of doing some Work, Welders had special Passes until they invented Super Glue! Security Guards Sunday night every seat covered in super glue Monday morning what a Pandemonium took twenty men to get them out and they all were in overnight strictly nothing by mouth poor Forklift Driver looking at their hairy arses lifting those Welders into the Red Cross Bus in the Liverpool Echo said the Birkenhead Dockyard was struck by the Phantom Jumbo Super glue Prankster Rendering the Day shift to finish Early 2 pm No Rods today No Kazis No Loos to play Pubs were Packed out singing If I had a Loo or pot to piss in I chose You
You look back sure hard working days but we talked look over there seven kids, not a word glued to games on their phones don't even know the names of those next-door kids The iPhone is a destroyer of society's behaviour anyway, why are you here I thought we were going to Singapore check out a new Boat going to the Show with those four new Department ROV Russian girls,
They can take care of themselves Gaz! big Al was deep in thought Good Point that Gaz it's the whip line for those Ten ROV positioners and the loos on the Boat run to take a piss grab a bite to eat take a Photo most useful time savers, You have a Great idea with those positioner lines no more crazy tangles with ROV lines again Alan Pal you deserve a break from overwork of your Brain. I think we need a Tiger Beer in Singapore
Why don't we fly down to test our Warp 7 Ranger Two seater I will Drive ok we don't want to land upside down Scouser. we have a Stand at this year's Boat Show to make an appearance and a bit of Social Gathering a few Tiger beers test and those cases Pink Champagne Rockefeller A&G High Rollers now
Gaz looked down fuck you still got your Rig boots on Al what the Fuck you're supposed to walk around in Shorts and flip flops or Turn up cowboy boots and Jockey shorts your a Muli Millionaire for fucksake can't go anywhere dressed with Rig boots not Dirty bastards get em polished,
Fuck you Gaz ok let us go stay at Raffles fuck no Orchard Towers Aussie Tony our own doss House Sportsman Bar VIP suites let's get down and dirty Weekend Party Big Man I need a new wardrobe be good to listen to what's going on in Singers water works city,
Just 15 minutes from Bangkok to Changi not bad not good but not bad time how much we selling this for A seater deluxe or VIP Model what's this one VIP 320,000 us cheap got the extra pop up de lux leather middle seat position or a Bed of Heaven to fast for Mile High Club it's used for Showing couples Rich Buyers His and Hers quick Glimpses of a 1000 Mile Radius of their homes 15 Minute Trips
it's Comfortable fully reclined Jet seats still a Jet Drone feels like a Silent sleeping Robot in one yes fully Automatic just ask it to Take off and Wham You Arrive Of Course the place must be on a Navigational Map well we might pop up to see the Lo Bo Brothers Shanghai they have the test run on Tuesday of Vacuumanator 1 we are invited means they want some more cash sounds a winner it's not the Drone Image this is spectacular So I've been Told it's a must see!
So how much do you reckon mass Production four seater 220,000 cheap Standard models the Gweilo Tornado is one Million Each sound like a Carpet Cleaner Gaz Vacumalator 1
They say it can shrink your arse, you're able to spit your balls out your mouth, you're able to have open heart surgery without anaesthetic so fast it leaves your body behind in another dimension set the Speedo to catch up or piss over yourself. That's very well explained. Al, shall I write the Service Manual in Hebrew or Scouse?
SINGAPORE their old Stomping Grounds of Hard Work as they walked into the Sportsman Bar unannounced
Big Tony How the Fuck are you he looked up from Reading the Straights Times and saw the Two A&G Im off Im off you two Fuckers are staying with me we have to Close up lock up the Bar Tie down the Chairs Good To see you too Zapper.
What brings you to pair down to Singers your Secretary called this Morning it's your fuckin place not mine I got six Chics Cleaning it up using Rentokil stores Your Suites I got the BBQ planned for Four so Filled the Pool full of Suds Ready Just for you two Dickheads Good to see you pair of lovely bastards now when am I getting the pay rise
Answer our HSE question and you get a Rise Al said what Color are your Jocks Don't wear Jocks well you don't get a pay rise Filthy Bastard scratching your balls and Serving Beer shit out of luck on that Rise Gaz said shit outta luck sunshine“Two Tigers
Make it Jugs have one yerself Zapper and Two Aussie Meat Pies each” Al said so what's going on Pal
We got those Dickhead Poms and Yanks here for the Boat Show lots of Ruskis and Cannoks Chinks and Japs Mexicans and Brazilians new breed of Spenders In here last night to see Miss Thailand and her Friends our Pals IT Indian Magicians plenty from Mumbai. must have something special at this year's Boat show that you got on your stand Katoeys or Robots.
Robbo Sub that's us this Year high-speed Tracker Mapper Minerals and Diamonds Suckers of the Deep Throat kind
Looks Good So far good Reviews fingers crossed we don't give shit already got a better thing out What That Zapper asked AL to take a look he was holding his Dick in His Hand fuck off your Scouse Knob head Gaz just said good to be back in the Land of Singers once more Let's all go to the Zoo. Play with those Urang Gatangs
Friday night the Bar was Packed with lots of Thai girlfriends playing catch up and the Oil and Gas guys fraternity popped in to meet and greet and share the Jugs of Tiger hospitality of sharing is a must in any Sports Bar Catered for all tastes and was most a reasonable honest trade of regulars Pitcher Jugs 15 Sing Dollars all day all night long with Simple Food large Pie Pasty or Pizza for twenty-five sing it was Haunt of the Job and Nightlife Male and Female seekers Starting and Finishing joint A&G had bought it just to keep Zapper alive and the Four luxury two Bedroom suites always had a Place to Disappear
Al said very deceiving yet stepped through Behind the Bar door into a corridor into Five Star Luxury it was one of those must-buy places the Pair of Pliers had to buy Joint ownership with Zapper it took a Team of Thirty staff that People rarely noticed each Suite had a Corner East West North South not cheap but income from the Bar was their outlay used to be their Local those old days of oil rig life and hard work the ins and outs leaving messages for other friends it was the Post box of ex-pats. Zapper had pigeonholes for every nationality all Free well defined slotted boxes with little flags of the country even Croatia and Russia Romania put up with Zappers Twang of Pommie and Yanks Chinks Japs Sings Nob Heads these were kind common words for friends you might be insulted if you didnt know him he called everyone a Lovely Bastard male and female same Goodnight my Lovely Bastard or Good morning My Lovely Bastard it was his way of Friendship there used to be or was a Sign above the Bar to All Cobber Bastards Pay up and Drink Piss of Fuck off give some space to lovely cash paying bastards so get off the stool that's Zapper House Rule,
Skint Guys and Ladies Have spent all day with him on a Jug of Tiger Rule one Not rule Two Days different Zapper Fuck off you lovely Bastard but that first day He would Pull up the Graveyard to try to find a solution to help you fix those no job No Money VD Aids Problems Dr Zapper
Had worked with A&G offshore Top Rig Medic and ex Armed Aussie Combat Viet Nam vet this was his life these pair of lovely A&G Bastards dragged him out from Jail and a Good Singapore Flogging that's another story so things run deep without words just sitting there on Table for Ten you forget whos Jug of Beer when there's six or seven in front of You.
Rule three dont give a Toss if your thirsty Drink what's in front of you be darn sure you had money to buy a Jug yourself or sit on those small stall stools uncomfortable as hell tight arse Bastards he had a way with words did Zapper it's hard to understand at first if your a Novice or Navy type just in looking around then some lady or guy drinks out of your Jug you hadn't read the signs and you get agitated ready to tell them fuck off it's mine until you see the full jug replaced and the clock ticks around to you turn again used to drink out of small Glasses where Ten would be the Jug so it was easy the Mathematics for Zapper he never missed a beat nor did his Staff each one watched their own assigned Table like hawks you get a nudge You Pay You Pay Your Round You Pay You stay or Go now Pay up we have customer need seat ready to pay it was real value for money when Sober god help you when your Pizza arrived No it's not all yours got two hands two slices the rest was gone Ten slices your lucky to get two, Pie or Pasty ok you could but a Packet of Crisps you ordered a Bag full they would be tipped out onto a Plate to Share you had no choice soon you got used to the Friendly Place it got used to you unable to refuse.
The Laughable Pair of Pliers A&G was invited to China to Help Improve the environment Chinese Delegation asked to speak with A&G at first said no then Gaz showed them in they sat around the round Table A&G noticed these were High Party Members and two of the older white-haired Guys seemed to know the dynamics of what they're problem was costs in high Manufacturing Base High Environmental waste and Pollution very difficult to solve because of the layout of the infrastructure not to leave a carbon footprint behind China was the Doom and Gloom of Environmentalists World Wide Press never good
They had made huge strides with their Rail networks now Obsolete with A&G warp Vipers could they Consider a Two year sabbatical to live in China and Formulate a Brain centre to Tackle every facet of current China life to the Space travel age Wow this was some ask Al looked at Gaz we be Dead with this Bridge too far on this one Kiddo but those Lives of Billions Might just say Go for it Fuck it until the Lights go out some Challenge this Pal.