Come Together Again: Restoring Intimacy in a Christian Marriage, God’s Way

Alone in the same room with the one you married?

You still share a home, a last name, maybe even a bed. But the touch has gone quiet, and the talk is about bills and errands. Somewhere along the way, the two of you became roommates.

Maybe you stopped asking years ago. Maybe you stopped wanting, and you don’t fully know why. Whether it was him or her who pulled away, both griefs matter to God.

When nobody talks about it

Distance rarely arrives in one night. It settles in quietly: tired evenings, a hurt that was never said out loud, a body that changed and nobody explained. Left alone, the silence gets heavier, and the first word gets harder to find.

You may have prayed about it for years and still not know what to do first. It is not too late to stop the drift on your side of the bed.

A gentle, biblical path back to each other

Come Together Again is a 12-chapter book for Christian husbands and wives, most often in long marriages. Its title comes from 1 Corinthians 7:5. It explains honestly why closeness fades, shows what Scripture asks of both of you, and walks you back toward each other one small step at a time.

It takes two to rebuild a marriage, but one person can begin. You can start alone, tonight.

Inside, you’ll discover

• Why closeness fades in long marriages, and the “little foxes” that slip in quietly (Chapter II)
• What 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 really asks of husband and wife alike, and why it never permits force (Chapter III)
• A plain answer to “Is it sin when a husband refuses?” and seven common reasons husbands withdraw (Chapter IV)
• What a wall is made of: hurts never spoken, never being thanked, and how to take it down one brick at a time (Chapter V)
• Illness is not sin: honest help for menopause, erections, hormones and medicines, and how to get a reluctant spouse to the doctor (Chapter VI)
• After broken trust: what real repentance looks like, and why forgiveness is not the same as instant trust (Chapter VII)
• The first honest conversation: how to begin gently, and what to do when the answer is anger or silence (Chapter VIII)
• Going first: how one spouse can begin without begging or demanding, and what going first is not (Chapter IX)
• The touch ladder: a slow way back to closeness, at a pace you can both trust (Chapter X)
• How to pray together again, even when it feels awkward, and why you should never pray at your spouse (Chapter XI)
• If you’re the only one trying: how to guard your heart from bitterness and grieve what has been lost (Chapter XII)

What’s included

• The full 202-page book, 12 chapters
• 9 printable worksheets, including a doctor’s checklist and a touch ladder
• 22 conversation cards to cut out
• A 30-day plan for one or both of you, in which no day asks for sex
• Prayers, verses and journaling pages throughout
• A printer-friendly edition
• 18 research notes, and every verse quoted word for word from the King James Version
• An instant PDF download (6×9 in, large 14-point type) for your phone, tablet or computer. Nothing ships, and nothing arrives at your house.

This book is for you if

• You’ve been married for years and the closeness has quietly faded
• You want help written for husbands and wives, without blame
• Your bodies have changed (menopause, illness, medication) and you want grace and real steps
• You want Scripture, honestly taught, not shame or fear
• You’re ready to start, even if your spouse isn’t yet
• You want something you can do tonight

This book is not for you right now if

you are afraid of your spouse, or you are being pressured or harmed. Please start with safety:

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988). 911 in an emergency. Outside the US: findahelpline.com. Abuse is not God’s design for marriage, and no one is required to stay in danger.

A note on health: many changes in desire and closeness have a medical cause, such as menopause, erectile problems, pain, depression or the side effects of common medicines. Please see a doctor. This book is not medical advice.

A note from the author

I have read more than six thousand of your comments, from husbands and from wives. Again and again you wrote the same things: we feel like roommates, I stopped asking, I miss the one I married.

This book was built from those questions. It doesn’t blame one side, and it doesn’t make promises God never made. It can’t promise that your spouse will change. What it offers is a clear biblical path, the words to start, and hope with a plan.

Go slowly. Read with a pen. The God who made marriage has not forgotten yours.

The Exiled Storyteller

Because this is an instant digital download, all sales are final. If anything goes wrong with your file, write to us and we’ll make it right.

Questions you might have

Is it explicit?

No. The language is tasteful and reverent, the kind you could read in church. There are no graphic descriptions.

Can I read it alone? Can we read it together?

Both. Every chapter has steps you can take by yourself, and Chapters IX and XII are written especially for the one who starts alone. If your spouse is willing, read a chapter a week and use the “Talk Together” questions.

Will my spouse be willing?

We can’t promise that, and we won’t pretend to. The book shows you how to begin with your own part, how to raise the subject without blame, and how to give the book to your spouse without it feeling like an accusation.

How is it different from Say It Gently?

Say It Gently gives you the exact words to bring the subject up. Come Together Again is the whole path: why you drifted, what Scripture asks of both of you, and the steps back. They work well together.

Is it a physical book? Can I print it?

It’s a PDF you download instantly. You also get a printer-friendly edition, so you can print the worksheets and cards at home.

What if our situation is serious?

If there is fear, force, threats or control in your home, please put this book aside and call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (US) at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org. Call or text 988 if you are in crisis, and 911 in an emergency. Outside the US, findahelpline.com lists free lines. For deep hurt, betrayal or long silence, we also encourage a pastor you trust and a licensed Christian counselor. This book is educational and devotional. It is not therapy.

Begin tonight

Come Together Again is $29: an instant download you can open tonight, with one small, gentle step waiting for you in Chapter I.

Need the words to start? Say It Gently: The Conversation Kit for Christian Marriages gives you scripts, letters and conversation cards: payhip.com/b/OCtMw