Bathwater out with the Babies

We don't need to go backward, but we sure can't continue like this.

For nearly all of human history, sex and pregnancy were inseparable. That simple biological reality was one of the foundations societies were built upon.

Reliable birth control changed that. For the first time, humanity could separate sex from fertility on a massive scale. This gave us the opportunity to reconsider norms around sex, marriage, and the relationship between men and women.

Some of those norms truly became optional. But we went too far, discarding elements that are every bit as essential today.

Looking at modern dating, with its loneliness, hostility between the sexes, and difficulty many people have finding lasting love, it is tempting to wish for a more certain past we can’t return to. Instead, we need to answer: what did we leave behind that we still need?

Bathwater out with the Babies explores what remains essential about love, sex, and marriage after fertility became optional.

Beginning with biology, the book examines what people are naturally inclined toward before culture and before technology changed our relationship with reproduction. It then examines the American culture that existed before the sexual revolution—not because the past was perfect, but because it provides a useful comparison for understanding what changed.

The book then explores what remains true after birth control separated sex from reproduction:

* Sex still creates powerful bonds between people.

* Marriage still provides benefits beyond having children.

* Men and women are substantially different even when pregnancy is removed from the equation.

These ideas are then applied to the choices that shape our lives: what elements are necessary to make the most of marriage, why deliberate and explicit commitment matters even more when society won’t force you, and why marrying the right person as soon as practicable is the best option for most people.

Ideally, this book finds you young enough to make the most of it: to help you work toward the marriage, family, and life you want before you have put years into building a life that makes those things harder to achieve.

But it is not only for those searching for a spouse. It is for anyone who wants to better understand love, sex, marriage, and the people around them.

* Anyone who’s ever wondered, “What is wrong with the other sex?”

* Any woman who has doubted the men who claim they can't get a date while the men that she dates treat her as disposable.

* Any man who has had his head bitten off for respecting a woman by calling her "ma'am."

Bathwater out with the Babies explains why marriage is still so valuable and why, when you find the right person, it is better not to wait.