Parked or Moving? — The 14-Day Situationship Audit (Fillable Workbook)

Somebody's daughter has been in a situationship for two years and calls it "taking it slow."

Slow is a speed. It means you are moving. Two years, no title, no plan — that's not slow, darling. That's parked.

But from inside the car, you can't tell. The radio's on, he's next to you, it's warm. So this is a fortnight of getting out and looking at the car.

What's inside

– 14 daily pages — one question a day. Read it in the morning, answer it at night after you've watched.

– Week one: what he does. Who texts first. Whether his mother knows your name. What his face did when you mentioned next summer.

– Week two: what you do. Whether you've been shrinking to keep him comfortable. What you'd tell a friend in exactly your situation.

– Day 7 check-in and Day 14 verdict — count your ticks and read what the number means, from Marjorie and from Winston (his is shorter).

– A last page: what I'm going to do, by when, and who I'm telling so they hold me to it.

Two rules

Tell nobody you're doing this, especially not him. And answer about what he does, not what he says. As Winston puts it: what a man says is what he'd like to be true. What a man does is what is true.

How it works

Fillable PDF. Tap, tick, type — on your phone, in bed, after you've watched him for a day. It saves. Don't skip ahead; you'll answer differently on day 12 than you would today, and that's the point.

Who it's for

It's been a while, there's no title, and you've stopped being sure whether you're waiting or wasting time.

— Marjorie & Winston Beckford. Married since 1978. Still arguing. Still here.