HOLDING POWER: WHAT IT MEANS TO PRACTICE POWER-WITH IN INTIMATE SPACES

We are always in relationship—to people, to systems, to power itself. Whether we name it or not, power is part of every interaction, every choice, every boundary we hold or dismiss. And while many of us are learning how to resist domination in public life, we often carry the patterns of power-over into the most intimate spaces of our lives.

This book is for people who already understand that power is not inherently bad—but unexamined power almost always becomes harmful. It's for those committed to building relationships and communities that are not just less oppressive, but actively liberatory. It’s for those willing to ask the harder questions: What kind of power am I holding here? Whose voice is missing? Am I relating through hierarchy, or through shared humanity?

Power-with is a practice, not a perfect formula. It asks us to shift from control to consent, from domination to dialogue, from fear to trust. It asks us to hold our influence with care, especially in relationships where we are granted authority—whether by age, experience, systemic privilege, or emotional leverage.

This is not a beginner’s guide. It’s an invitation to look more closely, to notice how even our best intentions can replicate harm, and to build new forms of relating that center integrity, shared responsibility, and collective liberation.