Your First Three Evenings: A Sampler for Christian Couples Ready to Try Again

You’ve prayed “God, restore our intimacy.” Here’s what the two of you can do tonight.

A sampler for Christian couples ready to try again · twenty minutes, nothing pushed.

We lie next to each other and still feel alone.

We don’t know how to talk anymore. Every talk becomes a contest.

Every touch feels like a question, so we stopped reaching.

Maybe your spouse prayed the same words in another room. These evenings give you both a first step.

When you don’t know where to start

Most couples who have drifted don’t need another warning, or one more long talk about “the problem.” They need something small enough to say yes to: twenty minutes, a clear beginning and a clear end, and the words already written.

Three evenings, already written

Your First Three Evenings is a sampler from Thirty Evenings Back to Each Other, and it is complete on its own. Each evening has a verse, a few warm words, one question to talk about, one gentle thing to do together, and a prayer to say out loud.

Nothing is vague, and nothing is pushed. No evening ends in an expectation, and either of you can say “pause.”

Inside, you’ll discover…

• “Are We at the Table?”: six short questions that show whether now is the right time to start, so neither of you feels pushed
• The talking cup: one speaks, one listens, both are heard, for couples whose talks keep turning into contests
• The ground rules, including a pause word either of you can say, with no sulking and no penalty
• Evening 1, “God, Restore Our Intimacy”: turn the prayer you may already have typed into something you do together
• Evening 2, “Swift to Hear”: practice James’s order (hear first, speak second, anger last) on an easy, happy topic, so the skill is ready for harder ones
• Evening 3, “Side by Side”: sit together again, at a pace the more cautious spouse chooses, with a clear end point
• If only one of you is ready: a short, kind invitation script, when to ask, and what not to do
• A Mini Check-In for after Evening 3, and a covenant to sign together

What’s included

• The 38-page sampler from Thirty Evenings
• 3 complete evenings, each about twenty minutes
• A six-question “Are We at the Table?” check
• Ground rules, a pause word and the talking cup
• An invitation script if only one of you is ready
• A Mini Check-In and a covenant to sign together

Format: PDF download · 6×9 in · large 14-point type · about 20 minutes an evening · Scripture quoted word for word from the King James Version · yours to print.

This sampler is for you if…

• You’ve prayed “God, restore our intimacy” and want something to do tonight
• You both want to try, even if one of you is more hopeful
• You can’t even sit on the same couch anymore, and want a gentle start
• You need kind words to invite a hesitant husband or wife
• You want closeness that never turns into pressure
• You’d like to try the Thirty Evenings format before you buy it

This sampler is not for you yet if…

You are afraid of your spouse, or asking for time together leads to anger or threats. These evenings are gentle exercises in friendship and listening. They can’t fix fear or control, and they must never be used to pressure anyone. Please start with safety:

Your safety first: National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988). 911 in an emergency. Outside the US: findahelpline.com. Abuse is not God's design for marriage, and no one is required to stay in danger.

If you haven’t yet had the first honest talk, start with the guide The First Sentence (https://payhip.com/b/Vwu1k) or Say It Gently (payhip.com/b/OCtMw).

A note on health: if either of you has pain, a health change or new medication, please see a doctor. Pain during closeness is a medical signal, not a spiritual failure, and this sampler is not medical advice.

A note from the author

These three evenings come straight from Thirty Evenings Back to Each Other, and they are complete on their own. Each has a verse, one question, one gentle thing to do together and a prayer to say out loud.

I can’t promise that three evenings will undo years of distance. Only God heals hearts, and He works in His own time. But you can have a clear first step, and something to do tonight while you wait on Him.

Put the phones in another room. Find a cup and a quiet corner.

The Exiled Storyteller

About your email

You’ll be asked for your email so Payhip can send it to you, and we’ll follow up with a few short emails to help you through the three evenings. You can unsubscribe at any time. If the file doesn’t arrive or won’t open, write to us and we’ll make it right.

Questions you may have

Is it explicit?

No. It is tasteful and church-appropriate. The closest it comes is sitting side by side on the same couch, at a pace the more cautious spouse chooses.

Can we do it together?

That is what it is for. Take turns reading aloud: one reads the verse, the other reads the opening.

What if my spouse won’t do it?

The sampler includes a short, kind invitation script, with advice on when to ask and what not to do. If they say “not now”, accept it kindly and ask again no more than once a month.

Do we have to do the three evenings in a row?

No. Many couples leave a day or two between them. Mornings over coffee work too.

Can I print it?

Yes. It is a PDF for a phone, tablet or computer, and you can print it at home, including the covenant to sign together.

What if our situation is serious?

If either of you is afraid of the other, stop and get help first (numbers above). If you keep getting stuck, a pastor, a mentor couple or a Christian counselor can help.

Download Your First Three Evenings.