SAR Guide for Fathers
WHAT'S YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM? The SAR Framework — Free Guide for Fathers
You're not trying to start a fight. You're trying to fix something.
- Maybe it's the distance.
- The money conversation that never goes anywhere.
- The fact that you're always the one who initiates.
- The screen time decision that became a three-day argument.
You walk in with a clear goal but twenty minutes later you're defending yourself. Again.
Most men think (or are told) the issue is communication. I thought that too.
A few years ago, Gen and I were separated. Paperwork signed, I had moved out, we had a custody schedule...the whole thing. Then she told me she didn't think I could be my truest self inside our relationship.
For some reason, I didn't get defensive, or even annoyed she was talking about our relationship while we were separated. Instead I got super curious because I was thinking:
Wait....what's the actual problem she's trying to solve right now?
Nine years later, we're still here.
Most conversations fail because both people are solving different problems without realizing it. One is talking about trust. The other is talking about logistics. Nobody is wrong. They're just never in the same conversation.
SAR fixes that:
- Summary
- Assessment
- Recommendation
One framework to slow you down long enough to get in the same room first.
Nobody sat me down and taught me how to navigate conflict, marriage, parenting, or hard conversations. I collected these lessons one painful mistake at a time. This framework is one of the tools that helped me stop fighting the wrong battles.
Download it. Then go have that conversation.
After you've used it, DM me on Instagram and tell me how it went. @muoki.musau