Official Im Gonna Quit Application

For the employee who announces “I’m quitting” twice per shift, genuinely likes the boss, blames one specific coworker, and will still be standing at the time clock tomorrow.

The Official “I’m Gonna Quit” Application is a six-page, darkly funny workplace printable that turns repeated resignation threats into a formal investigation—complete with boss-approved coupons for treating temporary employment despair.

INSIDE THE APPLICATION:

• Page 1: Quit-threat rules, hunger-related resignations, pizza-party raises, reply-all disasters, coworker evidence, and the likelihood of returning tomorrow

• Page 2: The official resignation incident report, threat history, what caused today’s breakdown, and what might make the employee stay

• Page 3: Boss and coworker investigation, identifying the workplace villain, safe solutions, separate shifts, snacks, and uninterrupted complaint time

• Page 4: A full checklist of reasons the job has received another death notice

• Page 5: Final ruling, employment diagnosis, signatures, and whether the employee is genuinely quitting or merely experiencing aggravated workplace irritation

• Page 6: Boss-approved coupons for arriving five minutes late, taking a paid day off, leaving early, extending lunch, avoiding one coworker, receiving complaint minutes, creating a custom reward, or getting a raise worth double the employee’s current wage

Every coupon requires an authorized boss’s signature and is valid only when workplace rules allow it. Coworkers cannot approve their own coupons, regardless of confidence, seniority, or access to the laminator.

Perfect for favorite coworkers, funny bosses, employee appreciation, office gifts, workplace parties, and anyone who has resigned emotionally but remains employed financially.

DIGITAL PRODUCT DETAILS:

• Six-page printable PDF

• US Letter size: 8.5 × 11 inches

• Instant digital download

• Print at home or through a local print shop

• Personal use only

• No physical item will be mailed

This is a novelty product—not an actual resignation, employment contract, guaranteed raise, approved leave request, or legally binding escape plan.