The Holiday Playbook for Foster Families: A Trauma Informed Guide to Navigating the Holidays
A safe holiday does not have to be a perfect one.
December changes almost everything at once. School lets out, bedtimes slide, and there are more people, more noise, more food, more surprises, and more conversations about family. For a child in foster or kinship care, all of that lands right when reminders of the family they miss are impossible to avoid.
The Holiday Playbook for Foster Families is a 66 page trauma informed guide to the whole season, from the first school party to the ordinary Tuesday in January. It gives you the why behind holiday behavior, the exact words to say in hard moments, and printable tools for planning the rest.
WHO MADE THIS
Audra Sanchez of The Foster Family Collective. Licensed foster parent for 12 years with more than 100 placements, former MAPP instructor, and former foster care agency staff. Every scenario in the playbook is illustrative. No child's real story is shared.
WHAT'S INCLUDED
One 66 page PDF, letter size (8.5 x 11), with ten sections:
1. Why the Holidays Can Feel Different
2. Start With Safety, Not Tradition
3. Preparing Before the Season Begins
4. Gifts: Giving and Receiving
5. Family Gatherings and Social Events
6. Visits, Birth Family and Big Feelings
7. When Behavior Changes
8. Christmas Day Without the Pressure
9. After the Holidays
10. Quick Reference Tools
Nine printable fill in tools, one at the end of each section:
- What Might Be Underneath This?
- Before We Say Yes
- Holiday Preparation Check In
- Holiday Gift Plan
- Before the Family Gathering
- Before and After a Holiday Visit
- Behavior Detective
- Christmas Day Plan
- After the Holidays Check In
Six quick reference pages for the moments you cannot stop and read: what might be underneath the behavior, scripts for the things people say, the two minute check before a gathering, visit day, the Christmas Day reset, and a caregiver reset for you.
Ready to use scripts throughout, including what to say when a relative asks why the child is in care, when Grandma expects a hug, when someone calls the child lucky, and when a visit is canceled.
The Holiday Permission List: eleven permissions on one page, ready for the fridge. Permission to make Christmas smaller. Permission to let a child opt out. Permission to leave early. Permission to have an ordinary Christmas.
WHO IT'S FOR
- Foster parents heading into their first December with a placement, or their tenth
- Kinship caregivers, guardians, and adoptive parents raising a child who is missing someone this season
- Families with a child who arrived close to the holidays
- Anyone whose extended family means well and asks too many questions
- Caregivers who want a plan for visit days, gift morning, and the big family gathering
It is written around Christmas, because that is where most of the pressure lands. It also walks you through finding out what the child's own family celebrates and honoring it, whether that is Hanukkah, a Muslim home, a secular home, or a tradition you have not learned about yet.
HOW TO USE IT
Read it front to back in November, or open straight to the section you need when that day arrives. Most people read on a phone or tablet and print only the tool pages they want to write on. Section 3 is about preparing before the season begins, so earlier is easier, but the quick reference pages were made for the day itself.
This is a caregiver's guide, not therapy or legal advice. When you are unsure, your case plan and your caseworker come first.
PAIRS WELL WITH
Behind the Behavior, our trauma informed parenting bundle, for the hard behaviors that do not end when the decorations come down.
THE DETAILS
This is a digital download. Nothing will be shipped. Your PDF is available right after checkout.
For personal use in your own household. Please do not share, resell, or redistribute the file. For group, agency, or training use, message @fosterfamilycollective on Instagram.
Because this is an instant digital download, all sales are final.