Entry No. 1
Present day
Sitting with what became normal
When people hear the word absence, the mind usually goes to something dramatic. A clear moment. A visible break. A door closing or someone walking away. That was not my experience.
Absence showed up quietly. It lived inside routines that never changed and questions that stopped being asked. The impact was not tied to one moment of leaving. It came from someone not being there again and again, until the missing piece stopped feeling noticeable.
While writing Raised by Absence, something became clearer than expected. Childhood adapts around what is missing. Kids do not wait forever for gaps to be filled. Adjustment happens instead. Expectations shift. Energy gets redirected. Life keeps moving without much commentary.
That part rarely gets discussed.
This book focuses on what happened. This space exists for what did not get processed in real time. The emotional cleanup that happens later. The realizations that surface in adulthood, when distance finally allows perspective. Many people look back and recognize they carried more than they should have at a very young age, without ever naming it that way.
Absence does not always register as painful in the moment. Sometimes it feels ordinary. Normal even. That is often what gives it staying power.
Recognition does not come from shared details. Stories do not have to match perfectly for recognition to happen. Absence leaves similar fingerprints, even when the circumstances look different on the surface.
Comments ()