There aren't a lot of fat folks in fiction.
And I don't mean curvy. I mean FAT.
In my last post, I talked about the lack of representation in love stories—especially in spicier fiction that delves into specific niches.
Enter Feeder/Feedee culture.
If you don't know what it is, it's a sometimes intimate topic where "feeders" give food to "feedees" who eat the food. A lot of times for the point of weight gain or a fetish.
If you're reading this, chances are you have a strong opinion on the subject.
Either you're 100% for it, part of the culture, and perhaps even a member of the community yourself...
Or you're firmly against it, reading this to see what I have to say.
Interestingly, I dove into this series and genre with one thing on my mind: representation.
Most of the stories I write about aren’t tied to my personal experiences.
Instead, I focus on showcasing lives that are often overlooked or misrepresented.
Because as humans, we lead nuanced lives, facing vastly different challenges.
My goal as an author is to give a voice to those who might otherwise remain silent, too afraid to share their truths.
Though my stories are fiction, they are rooted in possibilities—lives people could very well be living.
Now, I believe I’d be doing this genre and series a disservice without addressing the elephant in the room:
Feeder/Feedee Culture
Where do I stand on Feeder/Feedee culture?
I’m comfortably in the middle—I can see both sides.
On one hand, it raises questions about bodily harm. Gaining weight rapidly and intentionally as part of a kink is an ethically murky area.
But on the other hand... we’re all adults here.
If you’re part of the community and it’s your body, then it’s your choice.
There are far worse things people can do to themselves. And when it comes to discussions about health, weight is often unfairly scrutinized, while mental health, psychological well-being, social media habits, home life, and work stress are ignored.
My Thoughts on My 600-lb Life
I know many people wonder how I feel about My 600-lb Life.
Honestly? It’s exploitative.
And I’ll admit, I watched it when it first aired in 2011.
Part of me watched with a judgmental mindset, thinking, "Well, at least I’m not that big." (I’m not proud of that.)
The other part of me rooted for the people to lose weight and find health.
But over time, I stopped actively watching. The show’s portrayal of obese individuals—particularly the degrading shower scenes—was hard to stomach.
However, I’ll occasionally tune in for the transformations, because those moments show real resilience and change.
The Book (Spoilers Ahead)
My new book, Gorged and Grieving: Feeding to Cope After My Husband’s Death: Well Fed and Insatiable for Food, follows Fiona, an older feedee using food as a way to cope with her husband’s tragic death.
Fiona starts a support group for other feedees who want to leave the community and lose weight, but the group sessions often devolve into overeating and gaining even more.
This story explores Fiona’s internal conflict:
- On one hand, she wants to lose weight, believing it will make her healthier.
- On the other, she finds comfort and pride in her curves and lifestyle.
Things shift when Fiona becomes pregnant.
She’s torn between wanting to change for the life growing inside her and her deep love for food, which has become her most intimate experience.
Her daughter, Nora, is a pivotal part of the story—angry and disappointed in her mother’s choices.
“Mom, you’re killing yourself,” Nora tells her. “And you’re letting him manipulate you.”
Nora’s disapproval weighs heavily on Fiona, especially as she realizes her own pregnancy has done little to spark change.
The Blurb
Levi said he loved me for my curves, but it wasn’t love—it was hunger.
“You’re my perfect feedee,” he’d whisper, gripping my waist like a prize he’d claimed. “And I’m going to make you even better.”
After my husband died, food became my solace—a way to drown grief and fill the silence of an empty home.
I started a support group, telling myself it was for healing. But it became an excuse to indulge, to grow, to stay trapped.
Levi came into my life like a storm—young, charming, dangerous. He promised love but pulled me deeper into his twisted world.
“You’re beautiful now,” he’d say, handing me another plate. “But imagine how much more irresistible you’ll be with just a little more.”
I wanted to change—for Nora, my daughter, who looked at me like I was already gone.
“Mom, you’re choosing food over me,” she said once, tears in her eyes. “Over your own grandchild!”
I wanted to change for my unborn baby, who deserved a mother capable of more than this addiction.
But Levi wouldn’t let me go. “Why would you want to change who you are? This is us, Fiona.”
Eating with him was intimate, intoxicating. Every bite felt like surrender; every pound, a piece of myself slipping away.
The support group I started to escape my habits only fueled them—comfort food replaced progress, and I drowned in my own weakness.
The night Levi pulled into the drive-through, I knew I’d reached a breaking point.
“You can’t fight this, Fiona,” he said, handing me a bag of food. “This is who you are. You love it as much as I do.”
The baby kicked as the smell of grease filled the car.
I unwrapped the burger, Nora’s voice echoing in my mind. Stop, Mom. Choose us. Choose yourself.
Levi’s gaze pinned me in place. “Just one bite,” he urged. “Prove to me you’re mine.”
I stared at the food, at the life I’d built around this addiction, and at the man who made it feel like love.
What do you do when your greatest comfort is also your greatest prison?
Disclaimer: This book explores complex themes of addiction, control, and obsession. It does not have a Happily Ever After (HEA) or Happy For Now (HFN) ending, leaving the story open for interpretation.
Pages: 36
Words: 9,210
This is a fast-burn, slice-of-life romance.
Read Gorged and Grieving: Feeding to Cope After My Husband’s Death: Well Fed and Insatiable for Food.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
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