We all have that little voice inside our heads. The one that whispers “You’re not good enough”, “You’re going to fail”, or “Why even bother?” That voice has a name - the inner critic. And while it often claims to be protecting us, in reality, it can hold us back from growth, happiness, and success.
What Is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is the internal dialogue that focuses on flaws, doubts, and shortcomings. Psychologists suggest it often stems from early life experiences - the expectations of parents, teachers, or peers that shaped how we see ourselves today. Over time, those external judgments can turn inward and become a constant self-critical narrative.
How the Inner Critic Affects People
Left unchecked, the inner critic can affect nearly every area of life:
- Self-worth – Constant criticism lowers confidence and fuels feelings of inadequacy.
- Relationships – When you don’t believe you’re worthy, it’s harder to set boundaries or accept love.
- Career & Growth – Fear of failure can keep you from taking risks or pursuing opportunities.
- Mental health – Research links strong self-critical tendencies with anxiety, depression, and chronic stress.
Common Examples of the Inner Critic
You may recognise some of these thoughts:
- “I’m so stupid for making that mistake.”
- “Other people are way more talented than I am.”
- “If I can’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t even try.”
- “They probably think I’m not good enough.
These thoughts feel convincing in the moment — but they’re not facts. They’re fears disguised as truth.
How to Overcome the Inner Critic
Overcoming the inner critic isn’t about silencing it completely — it’s about learning to notice it, challenge it, and reframe it. Here are some strategies:
- Catch it in action: Awareness is the first step. Write down the negative statements you hear in your head. Simply noticing helps you separate from them.
- Reframe the thought: Instead of “I failed, so I’m worthless”, try “That didn’t work out, but I learned something useful for next time.” Reframing shifts the narrative from judgment to growth.
- Practice self-compassion: Studies by Dr. Kristin Neff show that practicing self-compassion — treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend — reduces stress and increases resilience. Next time you hear your critic, ask: “Would I say this to someone I care about?”
- Use evidence against it: When the critic says “You’re not good enough”, list examples of when you succeeded, learned, or showed strength. Facts are powerful antidotes to fear.
- Mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness helps create distance between you and the critical thoughts. Recognising “This is just a thought, not reality” can weaken its grip.
Research published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review highlights that self-criticism is linked to procrastination and poorer performance, while self-compassion encourages persistence and resilience. In other words - being kind to yourself helps you grow further than being harsh ever could.
The inner critic may never disappear entirely, but it doesn’t have to run your life. With awareness, compassion, and practice, you can turn down its volume and let a more supportive, empowering voice take the lead.
“Don’t believe everything you think. Sometimes the most convincing voice is also the least truthful.”
Coming Up Next:
Quick Tricks to Control Emotional Outbursts
We’ve explored the inner critic — the quiet voice that chips away at your confidence. But sometimes, it’s not the quiet voice that trips us up — it’s the loud reaction. In our next post, we’ll talk about emotional outbursts: why they happen, how they affect your relationships and well-being, and quick, science-backed tools you can use to calm the storm in the moment.
Empowered you - Coaching and self-help tools to help you reconnect, reset, and rise - at your pace, in your way.
Empowered You - Payhip - Self-Help Worksheets.
Here's a few recommendations:
From Pessimist to Optimist - Payhip - Shift Your Mindset in Just 20 Minutes.
Overcoming People-Pleasing - Payhip - Are you always putting others first, saying “yes” when you mean “no,” and feeling drained from trying to keep everyone happy? It’s time to reclaim your voice.
Build Your Self-Worth - Payhip - Struggling to Feel “Enough”? Reclaim Your Worth.
Comments ()