Aileen stared at the waves striking the shore, waiting for Calum to return. She’d been there for untold minutes; she’d been going there for untold days. Her face was as still as the dry sand she stood on, but her heart moved like the sea.
Calum had said he was only going to be gone a year. He’d promised to return quickly, with enough treasure to make the both of the comfortable for life. They were young then, deeply in love, and on the verge of adulthood.
Four years had passed since then, and Calum hadn’t come back. Adventuring in foreign lands wasn’t like going to the market; you couldn’t predict how long the journey would take. Get hurried, and bad things could happen. Aileen was sure, was certain, that he wasn’t dead. Alas, no one agreed with her, except for one friend, Beatrice. Not one other soul, not even…
“Aileen!” a deep male voice called. She knew the voice belonged to a tall, light man with dark face. It was her father. “Time to meet Lord Ross. His Lordship wants to meet his new bride before his wedding! Let’s go, girl!”
Aileen sighed. It was pointless to argue; she’d tried many times before. Fighting now would only provoke her father. She tied her black hair back, and walked sadly towards him.
“No argument?”
She held her tongue. She knew that her father had worked long and hard to arrange this marriage. He was losing patience with her, and getting angrier with each dispute. She took a tentative step closer to him.
“Good. His Lordship’s man is waiting with a carriage. I don’t want to hear about you giving him any trouble.”
“No, Father.” She drifted in the direction of the waiting carriage. She didn’t feel very presentable, but then again, that hardly matter now.
“Hello, Miss,” the servant said. “My name’s Drummond. If you need anything at all, just ask.”
Aileen managed a nod. Her father helped her into the carriage, said a few words to the servant, then told her, “Be a good young lass, Aileen.” And then she was off to Lord Ross’ manor.
If her heart hadn’t been broken before, her first sight of the manor house shattered it. The house was small and plain. The grounds did appear clear, but she assumed all manors were supposed to be. There was a stable; perhaps Lord Ross was richer than everyone said.
Drummond helped her out of the carriage and escorted her inside the manor house. They were met by an attractive older woman, the maid. “ His Lordship is in his writing room,” the maid reported. At Drummond’s nod, she left.
“Follow me, Miss,” Drummond said; Aileen followed him up the stairs. The inside comforted her somewhat, as it wasn’t vast and imposing like the insides of castles she and Calum had heard of when they were young. It almost looked like a two-story version of an ordinary home. At the top of the stairs was a short hall: she followed Drummond down it. Drummond stopped at a closed door, tapped on it, and opened it, waving her in while introducing them. The brown-haired man at the desk put down his quill and turned. “Thank you, Drummond.” As Drummond left, Lord Ross rose and approached her.
The young lord was a plain fellow, pale and quiet. He wasn’t fat, but his body didn’t speak of physical feats. His clothing belied his station. An ordinary boy with a title was all he looked. He was no Calum. He could be worse, though, Aileen assured herself.
“Greetings, my Lord.” Aileen bowed, careful not to avoid his eyes. She didn’t want him angry at her.
“Hello, Aileen.” Lord Ross motioned to a chair across from his desk. “Would you like to sit?” She nodded and did. He stood and looked her over. “You’re quite pretty.”
“Thank you, M’Lord.”
He looked somehow ashamed. “I suppose you’ve been told that before.” She shrugged. “You may call me Edmund, if you like.” She nodded. “Thank you for coming.”
“I didn’t want to,” she blurted out.
“Yes. Calum, isn’t it? Where did he go?”
“The eastern frontiers. He was only supposed to be gone a year. I know he’s not dead. I know it,” she assured him.
He snorted gently and smiled. “Aileen, let me tell you something. I’ve been introduced to several young ladies, all of class and status. Plenty of prospective wives, some I thought I loved, others I didn’t. But none of them loved me.
“I knew, when you first saw me, you didn’t think I looked very handsome. What you may not know is, I’m not much of a gentleman either. I can’t fence, I’m not very bold, I don’t like sports. I’d much rather read a book, or write things than hunt or dash around.”
Aileen didn’t show it, but she was crushed. She would have to give up her one great love, the only boy she had ever loved, for a Lord who wasn’t even good enough for his own class. She felt she was being condemned to a long, slow humiliating death. Death by marriage to a homely lord.
***
“Someone to see you, Your Ladyship,” Drummond said from the doorway of her bedroom. Aileen nodded, indifferent until Drummond opened the door wider to admit a cinnamon-haired girl, then left.
“Beatrice!” Aileen leapt up from her chair and ran to her friend and the two women hugged. “So nice o see you, Bea. I missed you at the wedding.”
“I’ve missed you, too. Less than a fortnight, and it seems like a year. How’re you doing?”
Aileen led her friend to the bed and they sat down. “It’s not been easy, Bea.” She pursed her lips. “I’ve been able to ... to ... stay out of his bed.”
“And what has he said about that?”
She shrugged. “He hasn’t argued it, and I don’t think he’s sent any messages to Father.” She paused. “Any news from the village?”
Beatrice smiled. “Indeed there is, Aileen.” She caught Aileen’s hands hard, and gushed, “Calum’s back! He’s returned!”
Aileen gasped. “Does he know... about all...?”
“Aye, but he’s keeping low to the ground. That’s why I’m here. He wants to know what he can do. You want him to come here, save you from all this?”
The young bride rose slowly, walked to the window and looked across the manor ground. Carefully collecting her thoughts, she said, “I’m not guarded. I can’t quite go out the front door, mind you, but I could slip out one night. Bea, does he... Did he...?
“Yes, he did find treasure while adventuring. I don’t know how much.” She moved closer to Aileen. “You planning to run away then? Run off with Calum?”
Aileen nodded. “Would you be willing to help us?”
“Anything to make you happy, Aileen. What can I do?”
“Just tell Calum to be ready, Bea.” Aileen glanced around the room. “See if he has any ideas, and come back and let me know. We’ll take our time and do this right.”
“I’ll return as soon as I can,” Beatrice promised as she rose to leave. The two exchanged hugs, and Aileen was alone again. She heard her heart beating hard. At last, Calum was back, and soon she’d be free of this prison.
Something halted her glee: Lord Ross. He hadn’t told her father she’d not slept with him because he didn’t want to lose her she realized then. Running off would hurt him. And yet, he know her staying would hurt her as much. She would have to say something before she left.
She would leave him a note, but for now, she composed it in her head:
“Edmund, you may know that Calum is back. You do know that as long as he lives I’m his one true love. I don’t love you. I appreciate the kindness you’ve shown me, and I do want to repay you someday. But I’ve been missing my heart since Calum left, and I don’t wish to live without it anymore. Please understand, and forgive me. You’re a good man, Edmund, don’t despair.”
She brushed a tear out of her eye. “That’ll do for now,” she assured herself, “that’ll do.”
***
Aileen moved the broom mechanically across the floor. Sometimes she thought she swept over an area she’d already passed through. That wouldn’t be hard in such a cramped, three-room spit of a home. But her mind wasn’t on the work; it was on Calum.
A knock at the door brought her back to the present. Stopping, Aileen called out, “Come in, door’s open.” It was Beatrice. Without a word the two friends hugged.
“So where’s Ca...” Beatrice began, and suddenly pulled back. “Aileen! You’re... pregnant aren’t you?”
“That I am. Five months to go.”
“Oh, I wish I could come more often, but of course with you so far from the village and all. So, what’s Calum hoping for, a boy or a girl?”
Aileen’s face fell. “He doesn’t know. In fact, he left before I found out.”
“He left? Why, for God’s sake? Where’d he go?”
“South. A man was hiring, so he said, for another treasure search. Anyway, Calum didn’t think he’d be gone very long, so he joined.” She patted her belly. “I found out a few weeks later.”
“You poor dear. How’re you holding up?”
“Fine, I suppose.” Aileen sighed. “Truthfully, Bea, it’s terrible. Calum’s only supposed to be gone a year, but I’m not sure the money he left will last that long. And, if he’s gone longer, like last time, well,... I don’t want to give up the baby, and I don’t want to go to the poorhouse.” She toyed with the broomstick. “Y’know, he promised me this would be the last time we’d ever be apart.”
“I’m sure he still loves you, Aileen.”
“I’m sure, too. But he also said, our first night together, that we’d never be apart again.” She sat down on the edge of her small bed. “I keep hearing stories from the neighbor ladies about what happens to adventurers. How they die, the serving wenches, how the next quest’s always the last.” She sighed. “Bea, have you heard anything new about Lord Ross?”
“He hasn’t changed. Why do you care?”
“No reason, Bea, no reason.” She put the broom aside. “So, are you staying in town?”
The redhead shook her curls. “No. Mother sent me here to pick up a few things. I wish I could stay.”
“Well, it’s the visit that matters. I’ll be fine.” Aileen got through the rest of Beatrice’s visit. As soon as her friend was gone, she decided to stop doing the housework she’d done a few times that day. She decided to write a letter to her legal husband. She composed it on her way to the market.
“Lord Ross, I am writing to let you know that I am well.” Wait; could I afford a courier? I’ll have to ask him to. “Edmund, things have happened since I left you, things that have me asking questions.” How should I phrase this? “If you still have some care in your heart for me, would you help me to answer them? I don’t wish for charity. I will understand if you’re bitter. I only ask for your forgiveness, and for some of the wisdom you have in all your books? Will you grant me that?”
***
Once again her mind was elsewhere when the knock came. This time Aileen put aside her broom and went to the door. It was Drummond. She greeted him and invited him in.
“Thank you,” he said, and stepped inside. “Not like the manor, ma’am?”
“Like one of the rooms, perhaps. The library, I think.”
“The library doesn’t have as much personal effects. Or, for that matter, private facilities,” Drummond observed. “Ma’am, His Lordship apologizes that his reply to your latest letter took more than a week. He also bids to request your presence at the manor, for at least one night, to discuss the situation with you. He has further instructed me to aid in your packing, if you are free to depart presently.”
“Presently will not be fast enough,” she replied.
The time spent packing flew by, even though they packed her for more than a single night’s stay. The trip took longer than her first to the manor, but it did not seem so to Aileen. She remembered that the first trip had felt so horribly long, and had been terribly uncomfortable. The weight on her heart on that trip was now gone.
I hope it never returns.
Lord Ross’ manor hadn’t changed at all in the months since she’d fled in the night. The stables appeared more crowded, perhaps, but the house had remained small and plain. Drummond led her in through the same way. He’d hinted that Edmund, too, had not changed. Edmund was reading when she entered his book-lined, neatly kept study. Drummond did not announce her; he merely ushered her in, then quickly left.
Edmund look up and smiled. “Good to see you in person, Aileen.”
Her heart rose an inch. “Thank you, Edmund. May I sit?”
“Oh, yes.”
He rose to help her. Her first impulse was to shoo him away. But she caught herself, and allowed him to assist her.
“I was worried when you said that you were expecting. I didn’t know how you’d be handling it. You appear to be doing well. Are you? Physically, I mean?”
“I am.” She glanced at the floor. “You don’t have to stand on my account.”
“I don’t have any choice,” he said with a shrug. “There are no other chairs in the room.”
Her heart leapt. He truly has not changed.
“As I told you in my note, Calum is off questing. Again.” She sighed sadly. “I don’t plan to give the child away. But I’m not asking for money.”
“Then what can I do for you?”
“I’ve done some thinking since...” She patted her stomach. “I still love Calum. But what if he doesn’t come back in a year? What if he never comes back? Or what if he takes up with a wench that he doesn’t have to... fret over?” She calmed her tone.
“What if something happens, not because of malice, but because of bad luck, and I never see him again? I don’t want my baby to grow up in a poorhouse. I don’t want the child ignorant of his parents. I’m going to have this baby, and I plan to raise it.”
Edmund opened his palms. “Again, how may I help?”
She lowered her eyes to avoid meeting his. “I was wrong to leave you. I was wrong, not because I didn’t love you, but because it was a cruel thing to do. I was very foolish. I should not have treated you so. Your only sin was that you were willing to enter into an arranged marriage with a lovestruck common girl.” She looked up slowly. “Can you find it possible to forgive me?”
“Of course I can. You acted out of love. You were caught up in your passion. Tell me, Aileen, why you’ve returned? What’s moving your heart now?”
She took in a breath. “During our first night together, Calum said he’d never leave me alone again. We would never be apart. I know he loves me, but I fear he loves adventuring much more. I’m afraid that he won’t live out his years with me, that he’ll spend his days questing instead.”
Edmund nodded. “I know Lords and Knights like that. Forever running off hither and thither, only taking enough time at their estates for a night of passion. I would always wonder how their ladies feel.”
“It’s curse I wouldn’t wish even on my own father.”
Edmund knelt down, and took her hands in his. “I do know how you feel, and how your heart aches. When a Knight or a Lord comes here, on some journey to war, or to slay a dragon, they ask me to come along. I refuse, and they wonder why. They don’t understand that I don’t have their reckless abandon. I don’t feel it’s proper to go racing off without a very good, very strong reason.
“If you told one of them how you feel, right now, they’d be puzzled. Why should you be so sad and tearful, if Calum were to return with glory and treasure?
“I think I know why you’re so sad, Aileen. You’ve grown up. You’ve come to realize that glory doesn’t always bring in food. Treasures can’t replace a caring parent and husband. Passion without compassion only brings more babies. Adventures don’t always bring the good life.”
He squeezed her hands tight. “Aileen, I would consider it a high honor if you would choose to renew our marriage vows. If that it what you want.”
“It won’t matter that the child is Calum’s?”
He shook his head. “As long as it’s your child, and you are my wife, I will care for it.” He let go of her hands. “I hope you like me more than you did when we first married. I know I like you more. I respect you more.”
“Why?”
“You’re willing to admit that you hurt me... a little. That takes courage.” He smiled. “Maybe one day you’ll have the courage to love me. A little.”
“In this world of knights and adventurers,” Lady Aileen replied, “I’m sure that’s more than possible.”
This appeared in the Tiger Moon Press Catalog, September 1991; and in Story Rules, Number 4, Fall 1996.
This short story is in the collection Fantasy Stories.
This collection contains seven short fantasy stories. They range from a second chance at romance to a magic inventor trying to save lives. All of these stories have been previously published.
Thanks for reading!
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