Growing up, I had wild dreams, just as wild as everyone else's. But I was told that one day I will wake up and realise that these dreams were meant for children. Adults don't dream, adults accept and adults try to fit in.

For many years I believed everything they told me. I almost gave up on my "childish" goals and started looking for something more serious, something more acceptable.

Luckily something happened and I never had to let my dreams fade away with the matter of time.

I was 13 when I spent one average at my grandparents. We had lunch together and after it I went to the bedroom to watch my favourite dumb youtube videos. Again. I shut the door, walked to the table, turned on my laptop and opened youtube as I always did. But today was a bit different.

One video popped up and as I looked at the title, I felt the urge to immediately click on the video and watch it. The video was about the law of attraction and even though it was a pretty casual video, it changed something in the 13 year old me. It made me believe that I can do anything I want.

So...the journey started. I became obsessed with self improvement in a very harmful way but there was no chance to stop. Strict routines, busy schedule and an insane amount of determination...led to burnout. I had been doing this tough routine for almost 3 years and I pushed myself to the tail of failure. I was exhausted 24/7, the school started and my expectations were so high that I had to perform every day. My anxiety has never higher before, I isolated myself from everything and I payed with my mental health.

And when I found myself at the rock-bottom after the hard work I put into my dreams, I felt it's over.

So I did nothing. Laying in bed, binge-watching series and film, dumb-scrolling, neglecting myself in every way possible, and becoming tired of things I used to enjoy doing.

I knew I needed change. But I was too tired to start it.

I was trying to build my business around the notion templates at the time but every time I tried, I failed without exception.

The business didn't look well at that time, I procrastinated with writing, I lost my interest in everything.

One time I hopelessly opened youtube and I found a creator there. The videos made feel in a way that I have't felt for a while and every time I watched those videos I felt happy.

Thoughts started racing in my head — just as always — and...what if I started a youtube channel?

I had no reason not to try it. What could I lose if I have nothing?

So I started it...and even though I barely get views, likes or subscriptions I could never quit it.

Because it made me feel alive again.

I am almost 17, still believing in the dreams I made at the age of 13. Definitely not planning to give up even though I know almost nothing about what I am doing right now.

But the only way to learn is to do.

I have been on this journey since I am a teenager and I confidently believe that there a reason why these dreams were given to me.

And I will prove it.