“Maybe I’m just overreacting.”
“Did I misremember that meeting?”
“They said I’m too sensitive—maybe I am.”
If you’ve ever found yourself second-guessing your memory, instincts, or even your sanity at work, you’re not alone. Gaslighting—a term that originated in abusive personal relationships—has quietly but powerfully infiltrated the workplace.
It doesn’t always show up as blatant cruelty. Often, it’s hidden beneath subtle dismissals, shifting narratives, or the slow erosion of your confidence by someone in a position of power. And the damage it causes can be devastating: self-doubt, burnout, and even career derailment.
In this article, we’ll break down:
What workplace gaslighting looks like,
How to spot it early,
And most importantly, what to do if it’s happening to you or someone you work with.
In my upcoming book, The Gaslighting Manager, I explore the dynamics of workplace gaslighting based on real-life experiences. But what does gaslighting look like in the office?
What is Workplace Gaslighting?
Gaslighting occurs when someone manipulates others into questioning their own perceptions, decisions, or even reality. In a workplace, this might mean:
- A manager subtly blaming you for their mistakes.
- Being excluded from crucial meetings or decisions, then criticized for “not contributing.”
- Having your accomplishments downplayed or dismissed altogether.
Signs to Watch For
Here are some key warning signs of workplace gaslighting:
- Shifting Blame: You’re consistently held responsible for mistakes you didn’t make.
- Withholding Information: Critical information is deliberately kept from you.
- Undermining Confidence: Your skills or decisions are frequently doubted, often in front of others.
- Isolation: You’re excluded from meetings or key projects.
- Manipulative Praise: Compliments are paired with backhanded criticism to keep you feeling off-balance.
Why It Matters
Gaslighting doesn’t just harm individuals — it damages team morale and productivity. When employees doubt themselves or feel unsupported, the entire organization suffers.
In The Gaslighting Manager, I share how this subtle but pervasive behavior impacts people on a personal and professional level. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “not enough” at work, you’re not alone — and understanding gaslighting is the first step toward breaking free.
Stay tuned for the release of The Gaslighting Manager for a deeper dive into this critical issue.