Spiritual woman. Spiritual man. Goddess. King. This one is for the ones who've never been protected by a man.
I dreamed I was pregnant. There was no indicated father.
I didn't even know I was carrying until a giant man appeared and told me. He said he was there to protect me. He was shielding me from harmful men and unfruitful relationships.
When he spoke it, my belly and back became tight and itchy. Six months along. The weight showed up after he named it.
Then he left. He walked outside into an open field and climbed an imaginary wall up past the clouds. He was huge. And then he was gone.
I turned to my right. There was a door with no building attached to it. I reached for the knob.
And I woke up rubbing my belly.
What the Dream Told Me
I sat up crying.
Because I realized something I had been avoiding for most of my life:
I have never been protected by a man.
Not my father. He died when I was a child. Not my husbands. Not the men I loved. I have always been the protector. The one who gives. The one who is taken from. The one who survives.
And in the dream, a giant came.
He didn't come to love me. He came to shield me. He named the life inside me before I could name it myself. And then he left — because his job was never to stay. His job was to make sure I knew.
I am pregnant with something Spirit conceived.
That's why there's no father. That's why I'm past childbearing years and still carrying it. That's why the symptoms showed up when he spoke. This isn't a physical pregnancy. This is a spiritual one.
I've been carrying a vision. A calling. A life's work. And I didn't notice the weight of it until someone finally saw it.
For the Ones Who've Never Been Protected
If you were raised without protection, you learned to become the protector. You became strong. Capable. Self-reliant.
But being the protector doesn't mean you were never meant to be protected.
It means you were never given the chance.
And here's what I'm learning:
The protection you were denied on earth can come from somewhere else.
From ancestors. From guides. From the giant who shows up in a dream, names what you're carrying, and then leaves because his job is to make sure you know — not to do the work for you.
You have been protected.
Just not by the people you expected.
What You're Carrying Is Real
You may not be pregnant in the physical sense. But you are carrying something.
A vision. A calling. A work that has been growing inside you for years. Something that has weight. Something that takes up space. Something that your body feels.
And it's time to give birth to it.
The giant has done his job. The protection is confirmed. The door is waiting.
Turn the knob.
Closing
I woke up crying because I realized I had never been protected by a man.
Then I realized I had been protected. Just not by one on earth.
The giant came. He named the life in me. He shielded me. And then he left me at the door.
So now I stand here, quiet, waiting for instructions from Spirit.
And I hear one thing:
Turn the knob.
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